How We Lose Ourselves in Relationships and How to Avoid This

Do not forget that you need to take care not only of your partner but also of yourself. Sometimes, it seems to us that to love someone means to completely dissolve in this person, to merge with them into one whole. To become one of those couples who go everywhere together, create a common account on social networks, share absolutely everything with each other and completely exclude the pronoun “I” from their vocabulary, replacing it with “we”. But self-sacrifice and complete abandonment of one’s interests often underlie codependent relationships and various forms of violence. And this is how it all happens.

We forget about our interests

A harmonious relationship is not a follower and a leader, not a plus and a minus. It is a union of two full-fledged personalities, each of them has their own interests, desires, and goals. It happens that these interests come into conflict. Of course, when you are looking for Ukrainian women for marriage on https://brides4love.com/ukrainian-brides, you want to interest a girl, and you are trying to correspond to her interests and world views. But it might have unpleasant consequences.

Lf

What to do

  • Keep doing your hobby. You can involve your partner in your favorite pastime, and if they do not share your interests, choose the time you will devote to your hobbies.
  • Talk to your loved one about your goals and desires. If your aspirations do not match, try to find a compromise — make sure that neither side gets hurt. When your partner does not take your goals seriously, instills in you a sense of guilt, requires you to abandon your plans, it is worth considering whether you need such a relationship because these are all signs of emotional abuse.
  • Support your partner’s interests and hobbies. Explain to them that it is not necessary to sacrifice what is important to you.

We do not defend our opinion

It seems that in an ideal relationship, there should be no conflicts. Therefore we are ready to agree with a partner — if only there is no quarrel. But if someone alone gives in all the time, they gradually lose self-confidence, personal boundaries and become too driven.

Fl

What to do

A healthy relationship doesn’t mean that your views will always be the same and that you won’t fight. They assume that you will be able to listen to each other, calmly express your position, offer options for resolving the conflict, and choose one that will suit both.

For example, one of the partners wants to live in their own house, while for the other, a developed infrastructure is important. You can quarrel over this in a splash. Or you can discuss the situation and choose a private house or townhouse in the suburbs so that there are shops, bus stops, and clinics nearby.

You can see that the main idea is to talk to each other and discuss everything that might worry you. This will definitely help you to solve any problem