For most people, a successful COVID-19 lockdown involved baking the occasional loaf of banana bread. However, Simon Gilham spent the dark months of 2020 building a social media empire. The 49-year-old worked as the chief executive of watch retailer Zeon and lived in Kent with his wife and five children. Gilham was feeling down and a little aimless, so as a way to cheer himself and others up, he started posting videos of himself giving sensible life advice on social media.
Her delivery was blunt (in one clip she warns viewers that “if your partner treats you like they don’t care, trust me, they really don’t care”), but people liked it. Within a couple of months, she had two million followers on TikTok; today she has 8.4 million and another 1.2 million on Instagram. Here are 20 of her harshest truths about love.
If you don’t know if someone is the one, Ask yourself: do you love who you are? When you are with them? Healthy relationships should enhance your life, not diminish your sense of self-worth.
If you ever feel like it’s hard to love yourself, you’re not the problem; maybe you’re just… asking the wrong person to love you. You will never be “too much” for someone who just can’t get enough of you.
There is nothing perfect couple. So, focus on finding someone who has many of the qualities you like and has similar values, and work on building a fantastic relationship.
Never fall in love with the same person twice. The second time, you fall in love with the memories, not the person.
Life is made up of games: Select the game you want to play, learn the rules and discover how to succeed.
Long-lasting relationships require a lot of forgiveness. Find out if you are willing to go through the ups and downs with them and walk through life together, because that is what love is all about.
If a man really loves you, you won’t have ask for effort. He’ll call, he’ll text, he’ll make time – no man is too busy for a woman he truly desires.
You can’t cheat on someone you really love. in love with. Because true love is more than butterflies; it’s the quiet comfort of finding your home in another.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t force someone to be with you. Don’t force anyone to stay in your life; if they decide to leave, it will be their loss.
Your happiness is largely your responsibility. While external factors can influence your mood, you have the power to choose how you react.
No woman leaves because her partner made a mistake – she left because it became a habit. Many women prefer to work out problems with their current partner rather than start over with someone else. Her continued presence in the relationship is an indication of her hope that her partner will become the person she deserves. However, a false sense of security regarding her loyalty can cause her partner to take her for granted and disrespect her. Never assume that someone’s unwavering support in the past guarantees their presence in the future.
One of the most toxic traits a person can have is expecting you to agree with something they wouldn’t agree with. If the roles were reversed. Recognize and avoid double standards in relationships: If someone expects you to tolerate behavior that they wouldn’t, it’s unfair.
The most difficult goodbyes often lead to the most meaningful greetings. Saying goodbye to someone important can be difficult, but embrace the uncertainty – let it guide you to unexpected joys and opportunities – and open your heart to new people, experiences and lessons that will enrich your life.
A man often leaves a woman for another woman. But many times a woman leaves a man on her own.
You know it’s over when You are more in love with the memories than with the person in front of you.
Being alone is not make you feel alone; Being around the wrong people does that.
You haven’t met all the people who will love you yet.and you haven’t met all the people you’re going to love yet.
The deepest relationships are not those without conflict, but those where conflicts lead to greater understanding.
Partners don’t leave you for someone better, or more handsome. They leave you for someone who is easier.
If it makes you happy, it doesn’t necessarily make sense to anyone else.
Visit Simon’s website: xgilham.com.
This is an edited excerpt from Stop Lying to Yourself: 101 Hard Truths That Will Help You Change Your Life by Simon Gilham, to be published on 22 August (Ebury, £14.99). To order a copy for £12.74 until 18 August, visit mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937. Free UK delivery on orders over £25.