A young father has spoken of his debilitating battle with postpartum depression which left him “crying uncontrollably” on the floor every night.
Australian radio producer Jack Post shared his story with The Imperfects podcast hosts, brothers Hugh and Josh van Cuylenburg and comedian Ryan Shelto, on Monday.
The Hamish and Andy star said he felt “shame and guilt” after he and his wife Bianca welcomed their son Gordon, now two.
The 36-year-old broke down in tears as he revealed the thoughts he had in the moments after his son was born.
‘He is the best. He is such a bright, funny, smiling and curious legend. I love being his dad. But there was a period, a few months to a year, when I couldn’t say that,” Jack said.
“After he was born, I had postpartum depression.”
Gordon was born in 2022 and it took between several months and the first year of his son’s life for the radio star to recover psychologically.
“I no longer associate this story with shame, but there was a lot of shame involved in this,” he said.
Hamish and Andy radio star Jack Post has opened up about his debilitating battle with postpartum depression which left him “crying uncontrollably” on the floor every night.
‘While he was well, healthy and perfect, I was not. At the time I didn’t know it was postpartum depression and I wasn’t prepared in the least for it.’
Jack choked as he made the vulnerable revelations to the three male hosts.
“Listening to him cry was like poison to me. “I really wanted to be a great father and a great husband and also go back to work,” he said.
‘I went through what is called postpartum depression, something I didn’t even know new parents could suffer from. I thought it was something we needed to worry about for Bianca, since I know there is a high rate of postpartum depression in new moms and I was the one feeling it.
‘I felt like Bianca was the one who did all the work, she brought him into the world, she went through the pregnancy and childbirth, and I’m the one who has depression and is crying on the floor. “I felt very ashamed.”
The radio star said she is sharing her story in the hopes that it will reach someone who needs to hear it.
The Hamish and Andy star said he felt “shame and guilt” after he and his wife Bianca welcomed their son Gordon, now two.
Jack didn’t experience the full weight of depression until several months after his son was born, but revealed that he had “deeply disturbing” thoughts from the moment he arrived.
“What I heard long before I became a father was that this child will be born, you will hold him in your arms and you will feel a love that you have never felt before in your life,” he said.
“When he was born, I remember seeing him and the first thing I thought was, ‘Wow, he looks like me. He’s like a little baby version of me,’ and something about that was deeply disturbing.”
While Jack was excited, Gordon arrived safely and Bianca was fine, the ‘crazy amount of love’ everyone told her she would feel for her new baby didn’t come.
Jack didn’t experience the full weight of depression until several months after his son was born, but revealed that he had “deeply disturbing” thoughts from the moment he arrived.
Despite seemingly “saying all the right things” to friends and family, Jack said he was distraught about “not feeling what I’m supposed to feel.”
Jack said that some nights he would sit alone on the floor of Gordon’s room with his head between his knees “crying uncontrollably.”
“I felt like I was looking at a miniature version of myself and I didn’t like that for him,” Jack added.
His plan was to sit with those feelings and wait for love to come. But as the days, weeks and months passed, his condition worsened.
Although Jack had told Bianca that he felt his connection with his son was not as strong as hers, he still had not admitted that he was depressed.
Jack said that some nights he would sit alone on the floor of Gordon’s room with his head between his knees “crying uncontrollably.”
She said she struggled to open up and talk about her depression with loved ones for fear of being a “burden” until she “didn’t have the energy to hide it” and cried in the radio studio.
Jack’s family, friends, and coworkers saw that he was struggling before he did, and his coworker Christian even insisted that Jack take time off work for a couple of weeks to recover.
Through his experience, Jack said he has “deeper empathy” for people, better communication with his wife and friends and has become closer to those with whom he opened up about his mental health issues.
A meta-analysis of medical studies found that one in 10 men experience prenatal and postpartum anxiety.
This compares to one in seven women experiencing postpartum depression.
The findings were published in 2021, but it is rarely recognized that men can also suffer from this condition.