A relationship expert has revealed the sexual goals all couples should have to improve their intimacy.
Todd Baratz, from the US, is a certified sex therapist and has shared his tips that couples should adopt to spice up their sex lives and overcome issues in the bedroom.
The psychotherapist’s goals included having conversations about fantasies and kinks as well as scheduling sex, giving your partner sexy surprises and expressing your desire to your spouse outside of the bedroom.
He also recommended making noise and talking while doing work as well as learning how to masturbate each other and saying no to sex ‘with love’.
Todd, who has been a relationship and sex professional for 13 years, said that while many couples face sexual challenges, very few communicate about sex.
Todd Baratz (pictured) is a certified sex therapist and shares his tips for couples to adopt to spice up their sex lives and overcome issues in the bedroom.
Eight sex goals every couple should have
- Have ongoing conversations about sex, eroticism, entanglement, and fantasy
- Teach each other how to masturbate
- Express your desire for your partner’s presence outside of sexual activity
- schedule sex. The best expected sex is actually not spontaneous
- Create sexual surprises
- Learn how to lovingly refuse sex
- Honor and negotiate different levels of desirability
- Make noise and talk during sex
“These challenges may include a decrease in sex drive, difficulties managing different levels of sexual desire, or problems with timing,” he wrote on Instagram. mail.
“Sex is a typical relational issue that couples should expect in any long-term relationship, as are other challenges that may arise.”
to combat these issues. Which Todd says are “typical relationship issues that couples should expect in any long-term relationship.” Offer eight goals to aim towards.
His number one tip is to have ongoing conversations about sex, eroticism, entanglement, and fantasy.
Good sex requires good communication. Not some special technique or flavor or Olympic attitude,” he explained.
“Most people are uncomfortable talking openly about sex simply because they never do.”
Todd recommended that couples “pay” any inconvenience and start talking as soon as possible and remember that not just one conversation, but multiple, ongoing conversations will break the barrier.
The sex therapist’s second goal is to teach others how to please yourself by calling masturbation the “Global Positioning System (GPS) of pleasure, excitement, and orgasm.”
“People don’t automatically know how your body works without you telling them, and most genitals require unique types of stimulation in order to get pleasure,” Todd writes.
He said not only to make noises of approval when something is good, but also to “show” what to do by pointing at the partner’s hand and showing them where to go.
Third, Todd told couples to try expressing their desire for each other outside of sex by texting, writing notes, or whispering in each other’s ear when one thinks their partner looks good.
Todd encourages people in intimate relationships to create sexual surprises for each other, whether it’s wearing a certain outfit or whispering sexy words.
“Desire isn’t just something that happens during sex. It can happen all the time if you let it be. Take advantage and make sure your partner knows regularly that you want him.”
According to Todd, the best sex is usually expected rather than spontaneous, so it’s important to schedule sex regularly.
“Set a time, sext dirty up front, plan out exactly what you’re going to do, and build that tension and excitement,” he suggested.
“Keep in mind that scheduling sex doesn’t have to be a calendar call—it can be a simple verbal agreement for some fun.”
Todd encourages people in intimate relationships to create sexual surprises for each other whether that’s wearing certain clothes you know your partner likes or whispering sexy words.
Surprise them, get creative. Nothing is sexier than knowing your partner wants to please you and do something specific for your pleasure, he said.
Another goal Todd said is important to reach is learning how to “lovely” say no to sex.
According to Todd, the best sex is usually expected rather than spontaneous, so it’s important to schedule sex regularly
Don’t say “No!” Say, ‘You’re hot, I love you, and I’d love to have sex with you but I’m tired/bloated/not in the mood.’ Be kind!’ advised.
Remember, it can hurt when an attempt to get attention — sexual or otherwise — is rebuffed. So use some common sense and be nice.
A normal part of any long-term relationship, Todd says, is that couples’ levels of desire and sexual drives vary over time.
Develop strategies for dealing with and managing differences. This is crucial or the sex will be filled with resentment and anxiety. He said: It is not hot.
Finally, the relationship expert said not to be silent but to make noise and talk to each other during the act.
We show. Breathe, talk dirty, push the boundaries. Also ask your partner what he likes.
Be sure to tell your partner the words that turn you on or off, especially when referring to your own body and genitals.
Relationship Expert: Seven Reasons Couples Shouldn’t Have Sex
1. Unsatisfactory relational dynamics Conflict, contempt, passive aggressiveness, unacknowledged dysfunctions, and disappointment are a recipe for sexual disaster.
This is when sexual blocking and sexual avoidance are an unconscious relational expression of “I’m mad at you.” This is the dynamics of approaching as quickly as possible.
2. No effort If neither partner makes an effort to surprise, seduce, or please the other, sex likely won’t happen. Put in the effort!
Send sexts, get clothes, make a romantic dinner, and go on a surprise date. Experiment with something! Literally anything will do.
3. Mental health challenges Stress, anxiety, depression and other emotions will shorten desire and arousal. Taking care of your mental health serves your sexual health.
4. Sexual differences Most couples have a variety of different sexual orientations; From the anomaly and fetish to the time of day and frequency difference is normal.
Differences only become a problem if you avoid them. The struggle becomes negotiation and creativity with compromise over differences.
5. Sex is deprioritized After a long period of time, if sex isn’t intentionally prioritized, life will get in the way. Relying on spontaneity is a recipe for decreased desirability and potential resentment.
If you want sex, take intentional steps to prioritize it.
6. Lack of sexual understanding of each other Many couples have no idea what their partner likes or doesn’t like. Maybe they never talked about it or maybe it got scary to deal with.
If you don’t know how to turn your partner on and don’t want to carry on the conversation, you won’t have sex.
7. Too busy If you’re too busy having sex, there’s a problem. Make time or accept that you will not have sex. This cannot be a one-sided decision in your relationship. Cooperation, negotiation and scheduling sex.