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Another day, another TikTok nomenclature: #morningshed is an elaborate beauty routine that’s supposed to work while you sleep, with ‘slimming’ chin straps, ‘detoxifying’ stomach wraps with castor oil, and ‘plumping’ mouth masks so you can ‘go to bed ugly’. ‘ and ‘wake up pretty’ after getting rid of these torturous devices.
With over 100 million posts on TikTok, your daughter, granddaughter, and even nephew may be smothering their skin one moment and stripping it off the next.
Some wonder if this is why Generation Z has given up on sex. They are too busy making themselves repulsive to become irresistible and engage in more traditional bedroom activities.
Sure, sleep on your back for a few days after filler or Botox to prevent your face from becoming unstable. I use a Muji neck pillow (£19.95, muji.com) when I don’t want to face-plant.
BUY TOWARDS IT!
For damaged or curly hair textures, L’Oréal Professionnel’s Absolut Repair Molecular Mask (£30, boots.com) has earned rave reviews. Applied before or after cleansing, it promises up to 94 percent stronger hair.
LIP BLOWS
CLINIQUE Pop Lip & Cheek Oil in Black Honey (£23.50, clinique.co.uk). The sold-out version of the ’90s sheer burgundy icon is back in pout and blush form.
MAC Ruby Woo/Phew!/ New & Boo (from £17.60, maccosmetics.co.uk).
This true red with a blue undertone that sells out four times a minute is now available in three new textures.
JONES ROAD Lipstick
on me (£22, libertylondon.com).
Instead of “aged” lipstick, Bobbi Brown uses a liner and then this nude-colored minty balm.
LANCOME Juicy Tubes Ultra Shiny Lip Gloss in 03 Dreamsicle (£19.50, johnlewis.com).
Immerse yourself in the magic of retro glitter: Dreamsicle is a 90s murky pink.
NARS Lipstick in Schiap (£20.40, johnlewis.com).
Named after Italian surrealist designer Elsa Schiaparelli, who made stunning fuchsia her signature.
But some overnight beauty tests can hurt you. Leave a strip for your pores and you may wake up with a red, watery nose. Whereas if I go anywhere near a stretchy cap, I get angry red welts etched into my skin for hours.
Here’s my proven guide to #midlifemorningshed: what’s worth experiencing during the night and what will just ruin your night (and potentially the next day too…).
SLIP ON A SLEEPING MASK
I was one of the first to try the Ostrichpillow Original Nap Pillow (£99.99, amazon.co.uk) – a strange, alien cocoon that blocks out light and sound. Looking so weird not only got me almost arrested on a train, but regular use would be a (literal) barrier to a relationship.
Opt for a stylish Drowsy Drop Original Sleep Mask (£69, drowsy-sleep.com) instead. These cult, adjustable, wrap-around masks block light and muffle noise. I love the midnight blue, while the deep red and pale gold are currently on sale at £55.
BUILD YOUR EYEBROWS
Leaving eye patches on overnight is a quick route to an allergic reaction. Instead, when morning comes, put on Garnier Anti-Fatigue Hyaluronic Acid Cryo Jelly Eye Patches (now £3.30, boots.com) straight from the fridge. But use Revitalash Advanced Lash Conditioner (from £59, revitalash.co.uk) and Olaplex Browbond Building Serum (£51.20, johnlewis.com). They work wonderfully and combat baldness of eyelashes and eyebrows in middle age.
APPLY A SERUM
Don’t smother your skin overnight with a sweaty synthetic mask. Instead, apply a serum that addresses your issues, while letting your skin breathe.
I’m yet to find an overnight stalwart I respect more than the Beauty Pie Youthbomb 360° Radiance Concentrated Serum (members £44, non-members £93, beautypie.com), a fusion of 15 active ingredients to brighten, tone, firm, hydrate and add shine. Then add a layer of whatever moisturizer suits you.
THE PATCHES ARE AUTHENTIC
The salicylic acid in Clean & Clear Advantage Rapid Gel (£3.37, boots.com) will clear up the odd boil, but it’s not for larger areas, where it can leave skin dry and flaky. Instead, act like a teenager and decorate your face with patches. Try Hero Mighty Pimple Patches Invisible+ (£7.99 for 24, boots.com).
YES, USE A HAIR CREAM
Oiling your hair overnight creates a depressing mess. Instead, apply L’Oréal Paris Elvive Hydra (Hyaluronic) Overnight Cream (£7.79, boots.com) for a polished look before breakfast. Or if oil is your problem, sleep with a mist of dry shampoo.
BOOST BEAUTY SLEEP
There’s no better beauty boost than a good night’s sleep, but it can be hard to come by in middle age. If you’re struggling, you need magnesium. This Works’ fragrant, magnesium-charged Deep Sleep Body Whip (£22.40, johnlewis.com) is heaven.
My icon of the week…
Sarah Michelle Gellar arrives at the 35th Annual Producers Guild Awards at the Ray Dolby Ballroom on February 25, 2024 in Hollywood, California
Sara-Michelle Geller
The Buffy star, above, who is next on our screens as CSI boss in Dexter: Original Sin, loves expensive Augustinus Bader skincare, but also Cetaphil Hydrating Gentle Skin Cleanser (£11.50, Boots) and Bio-Oil Skincare Oil (£8, Boots). She’s also a fan of Merit’s 1980 Volumizing Eyebrow Gel-Pomade and Brow 1990 Ultra Fine Eyebrow Gel Pencil (£48 for both, meritbeauty.com).
Cosmetic craving
A friend who was going through a terrible time told me that her nightly cleansing with hot cloths is her favorite part of the day right now.
I completely understand, so I gave her M&S Apothecary Revive Nourishing Cleansing Butter (£12.50, marksandspencer.com) to make the experience even more restorative.
This balm smells sublime: an aromatherapeutic cocktail of eucalyptus, lavender, lemongrass and sandalwood. It gently dissolves even waterproof cosmetics and is fantastic for this time of year, leaving the complexion gently nourished. I carry a 125g tin every time I travel and prefer it to its rivals which are several times the price.