Gemma Collins has claimed she never wanted to make a show about her teenage self-harm.
In 2022, Channel 4 asked Gemma to do the show Gemma Collins: Self Harm and Me, about her problem with cutting as a teenager.
But The Only Way is Essex star now claims she “never wanted to do it” because she was worried her mother would have to deal with difficult questions she wasn’t prepared for.
The Only Way is Essex star, 43, told the Mail’s Everything I Know About Me podcast: “I never wanted to do it. She was not prepared to face it and did not want to prolong it because it was very painful.
“In the end I did it because a production company promised me the land and I had another channel that said: ‘You’ll have this and that, just please do the self-harm show.’
Listen to our new interview with Gemma Collins on our podcast, Everything I Know About Me:
Gemma Collins has claimed she never wanted to make a show about her teenage self-harm.
The Only Way is Essex star now claims she “never wanted to do it” because she was worried her mum Joan (pictured) would have to deal with difficult questions she wasn’t prepared for.
‘If you’re going to give me something, I’ll give you something, but I never got that something back.
“I’m one of the strongest reality stars and yet people still try it on me.”
Gemma’s mother Joan, 68, with whom she has a close relationship, appeared in the documentary and was asked why she didn’t do more to support her daughter through self-harm.
In the documentary, Joan’s defense was: “Life was busy and everything was happening and you seemed fine.”
Reflecting on the scene, Gemma said on the Everything I Know About Me podcast: “I know what the show was doing and it wasn’t the truth.”
They took us down the garden path and tried to assault my mother.
‘My mom doesn’t want to hear her daughter self-harm. It wasn’t her fault, but that’s what the show indicated and she told me she would never appear on television again.
“She was very upset and that’s why I will have a vendetta against them (TV bosses) until the day I die.
“It was very sad to hear my mother tell the producers, ‘Oh, please don’t do this or don’t do that. Please don’t act like I’m a bad person.”
The Only Way is Essex star, 43, told the Mail’s Everything I Know About Me podcast: “I never wanted to do it. I wasn’t prepared to face it and I didn’t want to prolong it because it was very painful.’
‘Because no, it’s only done me good, it has nothing to do with self-harm, but because of the comments he received afterwards, I told him not to look.’
Speaking about her mistreatment in the industry, Gemma said she was forced to walk away from her ITV spin-off show, Diva, after producers fed her cold fish and chips and made her “feel like a piece of shit”.
In 2018, while Gemma was still on TOWIE, she did a one-off episode produced by Lime Pictures called Gemma Collins: Diva España and following its successful viewing figures, the show became a franchise.
Even after she left TOWIE in 2019, the spin-off continued with several versions including Diva on Lockdown, Diva Forever and the final Diva for Christmas special which aired in December 2020.
But Gemma has now revealed she was “hurt” and pushed to quit both by growing disillusionment with life as a reality star and by the network’s mistreatment.
She recalled: “We were doing a song with Darren Day and I thought it would be nice to have a wind machine, now it costs £50 to hire one of those, and they told me I had to pay for it myself.” And then I thought, ‘Fuck you, I’m getting out of here, you’re kidding me.’
“I remember on the last day of filming they threw a bag of cold fish and chips at me and it stunk. I’d already had to pay for the wind machine and I sat there and ate the chip and called my agent and said, ” This is the last one.”
‘It’s about treating me well because I’ll give you everything you want, I enjoy it. I will never run a library or a bank, but I can entertain you. So I called my agent Mark and said, “I can’t keep making myself feel like a piece of shit.”
She also quit because, after nine years on reality TV, producers were “starting to look for new material” with her and “my life wasn’t moving forward.”
“I’m one of the strongest reality stars and yet people still try it on me.” (Gemma appears excited on the show)
In 2018, while Gemma was still on TOWIE, she did a one-off episode produced by Lime Pictures called Gemma Collins: Diva España and following its successful viewing figures, the show became a franchise (pictured on TOWIE).
She said: “I remember gluing tinsel to Chloe Sim’s artificial grass Christmas tree and I looked at her and she looked at me like, ‘What the fuck are we doing?’
“I just told my agent: I feel like I’m over this.”
Since her Diva franchise, Gemma has appeared in a BBC nature series, had a stint as an agony aunt on The Big Breakfast and was interviewed by Judi Love.
A source close to Diva said ITV did not bring the show back into service and Gemma did not quit.
A Channel 4 spokesperson told the Mail: “The film was made with the full cooperation of Gemma, sharing her story in her own words, including through conversations with her family.
‘Filmed over several weeks, the film was made in consultation with a mental health charity and Gemma Collins had psychological support available before, during and after filming. Gemma was not forced to participate and gave informed consent for her participation, and she participated in various activities to promote the film after watching it.
Listen to our powerful interview with Gemma Collins in full below or on Mail Podcasts:
Listen to Gemma Collins on the Mail’s Everything I Know About Me podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. New episodes are released every Thursday and episode 3 is now available.