Cara Delevingne is four months sober after seeking treatment for substance use disorder.
“It was my first sober Christmas, my first new year soberDelevingne said during a Fashion interview published on Wednesday. “And honestly, it was the best I’ve ever had.”
Throughout her career, the actress and model has been open about her mental health, sharing in 2015 that she struggled with depression, anxiety, self-hatred, and suicidal ideation. But it wasn’t until late last year that she decided to tackle her healing by committing to a 12-step program, she told Vogue.
Delevingne said a major turning point came after seeing paparazzi images of her disheveled at the Van Nuys airport in September. She had just finished a series of trips that included a huge 30th birthday party, a three-week vacation to Ibiza, and Burning Man in Nevada.
“It’s heartbreaking because I thought I was having fun, but at some point it was like, ‘Okay, I don’t look good,’” she said. “You know, sometimes you need a reality check, so in a way those photos were something to be thankful for.”
Still, Delevingne lamented during the interview about the role paparazzi continue to play in normalizing shame towards people who need help. “It makes the whole cycle worse for the people who go through it,” she said.
As her network of friends surrounded her after the publication of the images, she decided to seek treatment.
“All I knew is that if I continued on the path that I was on, I would end up dead, doing something very, very stupid, and that was scary,” she said.
Delevingne said she needed a community setting to heal and address the internalized shame and self-hatred she had been running from by turning to alcohol and drugs. Her substances made her feel “invincible,” she said, but they also became “something terrifying to the people around her who love her.”
In treatment, she said she began to face herself more honestly and gave herself “a chance to really be who she is and sit through that discomfort.”
“Because my gosh, it’s pretty awkward for a minute,” he added, “but it gets better and it’s worth it. “
In her last few months of sobriety, Delevingne said, she’s been able to do things she’s always enjoyed, like go out and dance, but with a different perspective. In fact, she had “deep conversations and connections with people.”
And she noticed another strange thing after the treatment: “I came back to this house and it looked different,” she said. “It’s like it’s a new place because I was different.”
Suicide Prevention and Crisis Counseling Resources
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, seek professional help and call 9-8-8. America’s first three-digit national mental health crisis hotline, 988, will connect callers with trained mental health counselors. Text “HOME” to 741741 in the US and Canada to reach the crisis text line.