- Jordan Kahu talks about life after football
- Reveals his private struggles during the pandemic
- For confidential crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14
Former NRL star Jordan Kahu has opened up about his darkest days after his football career ended, the financial stress he was under and how he contemplated taking his own life.
Kahu, 33, who played 119 NRL games for the Broncos and Cowboys, ended his football career in 2020 after battling persistent injuries.
The talented New Zealand international established himself as a videographer, but the COVID-19 pandemic put enormous financial pressure on his business and the bills continued to pile up.
Kahu burned through his savings trying to keep his young family afloat and didn’t talk about what was going on with his wife, Jess.
“That year (2020) I ate up most of our savings just trying to cover the bills,” Kahu told the Keegan and company podcast.
“The following year, when I started a business and tried to cover the same bills with a lot of money I wasn’t making from football, there came a point where we had no savings left.”
Jordan Kahu has opened up about the mental demons he faced after his NRL career
Kahu revealed that the COVID-19 pandemic put a significant financial strain on his family.
‘I pretty much used up all my retirement money in that year just trying to stay afloat. We were so lucky that my dad let us live with them for a couple of years…
‘The hardest thing as a parent is to feel like a provider for the family, and I felt like I couldn’t do that. And that was a really difficult thing to overcome.”
Things got so bad at one point that Kahu contemplated taking his own life.
“It took a huge toll,” he admitted as he choked with emotion.
“There were thoughts like, ‘I have my life insurance, will my kids still have it if I kill myself?'”
Fighting back tears, Kahu took a moment to compose herself.
“Those were the thoughts that were going through my head,” he said.
The former soccer star says his mental health improved once he started talking to his wife about the financial problems they were facing.
The former soccer star says things have improved since he started opening up about his struggles with his wife.
Now she strives to encourage others to talk about their own problems.
“I feel like when people go into those dark holes that I’ve been in, you feel so alone and you feel like no one understands… but there are so many people out there going through the exact same thing…
“That weight you take off your shoulders after telling someone about your problems… you’re not going to get them off your shoulders.”
If you are experiencing depression or mental health symptoms, help is available at:
Lifeline Crisis Chat and Crisis Text: Alternatively call 131114 for this free 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention service throughout Australia.
Beyond Blue – Call 1300 224 636 for telephone support, information and resources for people suffering from depression or anxiety, or visit their website.