I was getting my nails done once when my phone rang. It was a woman’s voice: “My husband is a customer of yours and I want some answers.”
Her voice was measured, but she was angry. I didn’t blame her, I would be too.
It would happen one day; the woman behind. The confrontation. Her shock and anger. My guilt and anger at how a man could be so careless. I was now being dragged into someone’s mess of a marriage.
I was called Australia’s most talked about escort at the time and every escort has at one point been on the receiving end of a partner whose world has just been turned upside down.
Some women yell and scream, threaten to take you out, tell your family. Others just want answers. Most of them are furious about the money their husbands spent.
Samantha X — a former $1,500-an-hour call girl — revealed the “awkward” reservations she’s had with clients’ wives, and why they shouldn’t necessarily leave their cheating husbands
Men make stupid mistakes – this time this woman snooped and found a trail of emails.
She told me who he was: a surgeon who, in her words, “wasn’t particularly attractive and had nothing special about him.”
I told her I had no idea who he was. She insisted, but I couldn’t place him. Clients often turn into nameless, faceless men.
She went on to say that when she caught him, he promised he would stop, bought her a sports car, and agreed to finally have children.
The question she wanted to ask: What was I thinking about when I was with her husband?
That was it.
She was more concerned about the emotional deception, if I wanted to steal her husband. I told her the truth – and while this may shock you, every escort will nod their head.
I replied that I was thinking about what to eat tonight.
And it was that simple. She asked if she should leave her husband, and while it’s not for me to say, the truth was no.
I often get the question: do I feel guilty? Yes and no.
Someone else’s marriage is none of my business. I cheated on no one; men came to me.
Maybe they had separate bedrooms – a client hadn’t been intimate with his wife in eight years, but she divorced him when she found out he was seeking intimacy elsewhere.
But we all deserve human touch and connection.
Now that I’m out of the game, I no longer want to be a part of anyone’s sad marriage. And yes, I’m sorry I could have been part of another woman’s pain.
Samantha only regrets that she could have been the cause of another woman’s pain
But do I think you should leave your cheating husband? Not necessary. And here’s why:
1) They make stupid mistakes
Men are not perfect; nobody is. Some see escorts on a whim, one-off. They’re intrigued, they’re at a work conference, they’re drunk.
Believe it or not, often their bosses pay for it as a treat for the boys – yes, that still happens. Do you really want to throw away a probably good marriage for one stupid drunkenness mistake?
2) They don’t want an affair
Men see escorts because they don’t want an affair. They need something extra, a little escape, but they don’t want to fall in love because they love you.
They are emotionally devoted to you, but they have needs that are not met at home for whatever reason.
This is not a blame game; it takes two to tango, and your needs may not be met either. Arresting him can be a great way to start communicating.
The former call girl explained that she didn’t think it was necessary for women to abandon their cheating husbands because hiring an escort is “purely transactional”
3) It is purely transactional
While you will be angry at the amount of money he spent, the transaction is there to create a boundary. Escorts don’t fall in love with their clients, and clients rarely fall in love either. It’s an illusion, it’s not real.
Escorts are paid to listen, smile, nod in all the right places. Then they go home and move on with their lives and don’t give an ounce of thought to your husband. And I guarantee your husband isn’t thinking about her either.
One more thing: I’ve heard more than once that relationships improve after someone’s been caught cheating, that a dose of reality and a newfound appreciation can save marriages.
Relationships are complex, people are complex and life is not black and white.
When you have decades of history with someone, is it worth walking away? The choice is yours to make.