Forget to-do lists. Do not try a DO NOT LIST

Are you someone who likes a list? The type that enjoys it – like all & # 39; how to be successful & # 39; books tell you to do it – spend five minutes every evening writing down your next day's tasks so that you can cross them one by one as you reach them?

Or are you like the rest of us – full of the best of intentions, but you have to constantly feel guilty about things on your to-do list that never seem to be ready? (For the past two and a half years, I've personally used the words & # 39; Make Dan's birthday album rewritten in a series of to-do lists. I still haven't made Dan & # 39; s birthday album. Sorry, Dan.)

It turns out that what we always needed was not a & # 39; to do & # 39; list, but a & # 39; not to do & # 39; list: a list of things that consume our time and energy and don't make us happy, which we have to remind ourselves to avoid on a daily basis.

It turned out that what we always needed was not a & # 39; to do & # 39; list, but a & # 39; not to do & # 39; list (stock photo)

It turned out that what we always needed was not a & # 39; to do & # 39; list, but a & # 39; not to do & # 39; list (stock photo)

The idea has been popularized by business expert Adam Grant, co-author of the latest book by technology leader Sheryl Sandberg, Option B.

It offers, say, those who do it, a little nudge – a reminder of behavior that does not serve us. Instead of putting pressure on you to perform tasks, it is an indicator of the way we want to live.

Whether it's saying yes to everything we're asked, ages on Instagram, or working late, the & # 39; don't do & # 39; list is the angel sitting on your shoulder and asking: & # 39 ; Are you sure you really want to do that? & # 39;

Writing down a list of all these & # 39; negative choices & # 39; can help clarify how you want to spend your time, something that many successful people find valuable.

Former Apple CEO John Sculley once said about Steve Jobs, the deceased founder of the company: & What makes Steve & # 39; s methodology different from everyone else, is that he thought the most important decisions you made were not the things you do, but the things you decide not to do. & # 39;

As Kim Stephenson, a professional psychologist, explains, lists are not long popular with management, so why not use one in your personal life?

& # 39; When evaluating productivity or success and what steps to take where you want to be, ask the questions: & # 39; What more do I have to do? What should I do? What should I do less? What do I need to stop? ", & # 39; he says.

Maybe it's not surprising, at a time when words like & # 39; self-care & # 39; and & # 39; limits & # 39; Everyday, and many of us have been harassed more than ever, we need to see a rise of people who define things that they are not willing to do. Guess what? There is an app for that: the To Do not List app.

According to the people behind it, evidence suggests that this approach can make us happier. The app's website refers to a study of 20 students who have not dealt with lists of at least five items every day for a week.

Writing down a list of all these & # 39; negative choices & # 39; can help to make clear how you want to spend your time, something that many successful people find valuable (stock photo)

Writing down a list of all these & # 39; negative choices & # 39; can help to make clear how you want to spend your time, something that many successful people find valuable (stock photo)

Writing down a list of all these & # 39; negative choices & # 39; can help to make clear how you want to spend your time, something that many successful people find valuable (stock photo)

At the end of the week, the developers say that 19 out of 20 students – who made good intentions, such as not extensively texting, and not checking emails after 6, eating sugar – said they were happier, felt anxious and that their mood was generally better.

But according to Stephenson it is not as straightforward as that. & # 39; Identifying that there is behavior that you want to avoid is the first step, but willpower alone is not enough & # 39 ;, he says.

He points out that the brain is struggling to work with negatives: & # 39; If I tell you not to think about an elephant, what do you think about? & # 39;

So sign up not to list, but, he suggests, try to combine each item on it with positive promotions.

Don't want to blindly scroll through Instagram? Get the app out of your phone and think instead of what you want to do, such as reading a book or going to the park.

You can also use visual reminders. & # 39; If you say you don't want to waste money buying coffee, that's fine, but why not? If it's because you want to save for a vacation, print a photo of your destination and hang it on the wall.

& # 39; Put a red dot sticker on the photo, then a red dot in your wallet, one on your phone, one on your computer. The idea is that you are reminded of what you want to achieve by not buying the coffee. And take a flask with coffee. & # 39;

His message is clear. Do what works for you.

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