- Send your questions to Vanessa at prosperandoafter50@dailymail.com.au
- Vanessa will answer a question every Sunday
- Sign up for Vanessa free monthly newsletter here
Dear Vanessa,
After years of being unlucky in love, I finally found someone who makes me truly happy. He is kind, supportive and brings a lot of joy to my life. But there is one question that weighs on me. Economically he is struggling. He doesn’t ask for much, but I can see that he has a hard time covering the rent. In the meantime, I’ve almost finished paying off my own mortgage and am proud of the financial security I’ve built over the years.
I want to support you in a way that doesn’t jeopardize my financial future or put me at risk. I don’t want to lose it, but I also want to make sure I’m smart about it.
How can I protect myself financially while enjoying this love that I have been waiting for so long?
Sincerely,
Carmel.
Dear Carmelo,
Finding love after years of searching is a wonderful thing, and it’s clear that you value both your relationship and the financial security you’ve worked hard to build. Balancing love and money requires careful thought, but it is absolutely possible to enjoy both.
Vanessa Stoykov, noted monetary educator (above)
Here are some ways to navigate this:
1. Keep your finances separate for now. Maintain your financial independence as your relationship evolves. Avoid merging accounts or co-signing agreements. Protecting what you’ve worked for is smart, not selfish.
2. Protect your home. If you are thinking about inviting him to live with you, consult with a lawyer or financial advisor to draft a cohabitation agreement. This ensures that your property remains safe and clear expectations are set.
3. Promote financial independence. While it’s okay to help out from time to time, avoid taking on a role where you’re responsible for their finances. Encourage him to budget, seek advice, or improve his skills to build stability.
4. Talk openly about money. Honest conversations about goals and concerns can strengthen your connection and help you plan a future together.
5. Plan for the long term. If your relationship is headed toward a shared future, discuss how you’ll handle joint expenses. Setting expectations ahead of time can avoid misunderstandings.
If you’d like more guidance on managing relationships and money, my Minicourse Creating the life of your dreams It’s a great place to start. It offers a framework to openly discuss goals and imagine a shared future. Maybe they could even do it together.
Good luck with your new love!
Vanessa.