Home Australia FLOURISHING AFTER 50: Help! My husband’s kids think they deserve my daughter’s inheritance

FLOURISHING AFTER 50: Help! My husband’s kids think they deserve my daughter’s inheritance

0 comments
The leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov (above)
  • Send your questions to Vanessa at Floorishingfter50@dailymail.com.au
  • Vanessa will answer a question every Sunday
  • Register in Vanessa’s FREE MONTHLY BULLETIN HERE

Dear Vanessa,

I am writing because I am caught in a family dilemma that is becoming more difficult to ignore. I have a wonderful daughter of my first marriage, and now I am happily married to a kind and loving man who has three children. While I adore it, your children and the life we ​​have built, I am concerned to ensure that my daughter obtains the inheritance she deserves.

Before getting married, I had some assets, including my own home, which I have always planned to convey to my daughter. We do not sign a Prenupc, and now their children suggest that everything should be divided equally among the four children when we die. While I understand your perspective, I don’t think it’s fair. These were active that I brought to marriage, and I want to honor my commitment to my daughter.

Every time I try to mention this with my husband, he becomes defensive and protective with his own children. It is as if I thought I am trying to change them short, which is not true. We both still have separate houses, but I feel that I am walking in egg cans every time this topic arises. I don’t want this to hurt our marriage, but I also want to protect my daughter’s future.

What is the fairest way to handle this and how do I start navigating this awkward conversation with my husband?

Ann.

Dear Ana,

Mixed families are a beautiful mix of love and connection, but they also come with financial complexities that cannot be ignored. The time to address these problems is ideally before marriage through legal tools such as prenuptial agreements that safeguard each couple’s assets and clarify expectations. But it is not too late to act now and create a fair and lasting plan.

The leading money educator Vanessa Stoykov (above)

The first thing you should do is make your wishes legally binding. Updating your will or configuring a trust is essential to ensure that your daughter receives the inheritance she intended. These documents will protect their assets and avoid disputes later. Without them, it runs the risk of involuntary consequences that could fracture their family.

Since this is a very emotional issue, I recommend involving a financial advisor or a heritage planner who can mediate the discussion and guide him through the options. A neutral professional will eliminate the heat of the conversation and focus on practical solutions that work for all. If you do not know where to start, my FEND to Planner service can connect it with someone of trust and experience. You can explore it here.

Justice does not have to mean equal actions. It is completely reasonable that the assets brought to marriage are treated differently from those accumulated together. For example, their individual homes can go to their respective children, while joint assets could be divided by the four. Having a clear plan like this could make the situation feel less controversial.

By discussing this with your husband, time and tone are key. Choose a quiet and private moment and let him know that it is not about taking away his children but about fulfilling his commitment to his daughter. Emphasize that you want to work together to find a solution that feels fair for both of them and strengthens your link as a couple.

Once you have aligned with your husband, consider bringing all children to the conversation to explain their decisions as a united front. Open communication will now avoid misunderstandings and encourage a sense of transparency and respect.

If you feel insecure on how to start this discussion, my book, the five conversations about money to radically change your life, it is a useful resource. It offers practical advice to handle confidential money issues and navigate family dynamics. You can find it here.

Addressing this will now protect your daughter’s future, preserve harmony in their marriage and provide tranquility to all involved. Taking these steps can be uncomfortable, but they will ensure that their legacy is handled in the way it intends.

A cordial greeting,

Vanessa.

(Tagstotranslate) Dailymail (T) Newsmoney (T) Australia

You may also like