A man has revealed that he donated his sperm so that his sister-in-law could get pregnant, making him an uncle to her biological child.
Adam Zayden, 25, from Newham, London, knew his sister Jade, 29, and her wife Eefje, 30, had been trying to have a baby since 2018 but were unable to find a donor.
Each time he caught up with them, they seemed “more and more frustrated” and after three years, Adam suggested he donate his own sperm to Eefje.
She got pregnant after six months of trying, inseminating herself with Jade’s help at home after Adam “did his thing.”
Her baby, now 16 months old, was born on March 18, 2023, and weighed 4kg. Jade says her baby has “Adam’s chin and mine,” but looks a lot like Eefje.
Adam Zayden (pictured), 25, from Newham, London, donated his sperm to his sister-in-law and is now an uncle to her biological son.
Jade (pictured left), 29, and her wife Eefje (pictured right), 30, welcomed their son (pictured centre) in March last year.
Adam, who is a social media influencer, said: ‘They were so frustrated with the donation process – they just felt it was the right and easiest thing to do.
“This whole process has brought me much closer to my sister and her partner. They now have a child and I am very happy for them.”
Jade, a researcher and developer, and Eefje, a veterinarian, who live in Amsterdam, always wanted to have children together.
“Eefje always wanted to have children,” Jade said. She continued: “I wasn’t so sure because of our little sister and the work involved.
“But in the end, I was so happy to start our own little family,” she added, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The couple opted for sperm donation because adoption seemed like a long and expensive process.
Despite asking a couple of mutual friends to be sperm donors, none of them were successful.
Adam said: “They live in the Netherlands, artificial insemination is not covered by health insurance, so the search can be quite extensive.”
Adam said the decision to donate his sperm was “easy” because he doesn’t want to have his own children.
Eefje and Jade discovered that several sperm donors were asking them to conceive in a “natural” way: through unprotected sex.
Adam said: “They had met a couple of nice people but found themselves in a rather unfortunate situation where everything was going really well at first.
‘They even set up a donation contract with him, which is an agreement where you set out your intentions for how you want the donation to work.
“But he literally turned around and said he wanted to do things naturally. He wanted to sleep with my sister-in-law, which was never within the realm of what they wanted.
Adam continued: “Basically, he was supposed to go into the bathroom and then my sister-in-law would inseminate herself.”
The influencer wanted to help his sister and her partner after they had difficulties finding a sperm donor
She said her sister, who lives in Amsterdam, had become “frustrated” with the process of finding a donor after several plans had failed.
Eefjie and Jade called Adam in 2021 to ask if he would be willing to donate his sperm.
While they did not have to pay any fees to donors, they often lost money traveling to meet with them.
Eefje and Jade became increasingly frustrated with the process. “It was really an emotional rollercoaster,” Jade added.
She continued: “Because you’re opening yourself up at the most vulnerable times. You’re welcoming, essentially, strangers into your life. So you’re relying on strangers to help you fulfill one of your biggest dreams.”
Eefje said: “You’re also exposed to a lot of potential hate, whether it’s for sharing your experience or just in general while looking for a donor.”
In 2021, they called Adam to explain how desperate they felt and asked if he would consider donating his sperm.
He said: ‘They had joked before about giving them mine.’
‘After all their trials and tribulations, they called me sometime in 2021. They basically just said, “We’re really struggling with this” and if I would be okay with that.
Before Adam donated his sperm, he had to undergo several tests at doctors to check if he was a suitable donor.
The 29-year-old influencer said donating his sperm to his sister-in-law was “no big deal”
Adam has visited the baby on multiple occasions, who will refer to him as his ‘uncle’ or ‘Adam bibi’.
Adam said it was an easy decision to make. Since he doesn’t want to have children of his own in the future, he thought it was a good opportunity to help his sister.
“It wasn’t really a big deal,” she said, adding, “I’m a queer person and I don’t really see myself having kids.”
Before donating, Adam had to go through a series of tests to find out if he was a suitable donor.
He took an STD test, which came back fine, and his sperm count was also checked. “I found out I’m very fertile,” he said. Adam added, “Which is always fun to find out.”
Doctors then asked him to take a “pill” to increase his sperm count and told him to keep an eye on when Eefje was ovulating.
He said: “Every night during that week-long period, Jade would walk the dog. I would go upstairs, do my thing and deliver the sperm to Eefje.”
Adam did this for six or seven days each month between December 2021 and June 2022.
In June 2022, Eefje discovered she was pregnant and her baby was born in March 2023.
“I’ve seen him several times,” Adam said. He continued: “I’m his uncle, but they know me as ‘bibi’.”
Jade said: ‘It wasn’t until we started the process properly that we realised how nice it was to have someone like Adam to help out.
“It was great to have someone you really know and trust, because it’s a very emotional moment.”
