A single mother has warned women to stay safe when meeting men on dating apps after making a “scary” discovery.
Carly Sophia, from Sydney, was planning to have a drink with a man she was chatting to on a dating app and decided to Google his name because she was feeling “anxious” about the meeting.
After discovering his last name, their search revealed “pages” of news articles about the man accused of sexually assaulting a woman after a night of partying.
The 34-year-old woman said the search left her “uneasy” as her interactions with the man did not “ring any alarm bells.”
The incident prompted her to share her best tips for her female followers to use to stay safe while dating.
Carly Sophia (pictured) Googled the name of the man she had planned a date with and discovered “scary” details about an alleged sexual assault.
The mother-of-two said the man she was messaging on the app looked “nice”, had “kind eyes” and seemed like a “normal guy from the Inner West”.
‘He had a nice dog. Good job. We had friends in common. The same band t-shirt from the same tour. They both love animals. I was carrying the same type of vans,’ he explained on an Instagram. mail.
“This guy didn’t sound any alarms at all.”
It turns out that predators aren’t just men with knives in dark alleys. They don’t seem crazy or talk to you in a creepy way.
Feeling a little anxious about her upcoming date, Carly decided to quickly Google him to put her mind at ease.
‘AND HOLY. SHIT. S***. I am happy to have done it? News articles. Pages of them. Accused of raping a woman after a night of partying,” she said.
‘Needless to say, I’m fucking nervous. I felt like vomiting all afternoon. Mainly because it turns out that predators aren’t just men with knives in dark alleys. They don’t seem crazy or talk to you in a creepy way.
Carly offered her “most important” dating advice that women should follow to stay safe and not fall victim to predators lurking on the apps.
The 34-year-old woman said the search left her “uneasy” as her interactions with the man did not “ring any alarm bells.”
“Because the probability of them killing you is low, but never zero,” he warned.
“One in five Australian women has been a victim of sexual violence, and 58 per cent of all female homicides are committed by an intimate partner worldwide.”
First, Carly said to “master the art” of sharing information about yourself and details about your life without making it easy to find.
‘When you first start chatting, simple things like your suburb and what you do at work can seem harmless to get to know you. but in the wrong hands, a big security problem,” he stated.
‘I like to say that I live ‘close’ to a certain landmark: a place of public interest with around 11 surrounding suburbs. Keep it nice and vague.
Secondly, Carly said to never reveal any kind of routine to someone you’re chatting with.
Carly offered her “most important” dating advice that women should follow to stay safe and not fall victim to predators lurking on the apps.
First, Carly said you have to ‘master the art’ of sharing information about yourself and details about your life without making it easy to find.
Carly said to never reveal any type of routine to someone you’re chatting with and to make sure you get someone’s full name if you’re on an app that encourages the use of pseudonyms.
‘You like the same coffee, that’s fine. Just don’t be tempted to enthusiastically exclaim, “I have my coffee there every morning!” she explained.
“Having things in common is a good indicator of compatibility and a great conversation starter, but wow, you don’t have a stalker.”
Carly recommends getting the person’s details as soon as the chat leads to potential real-life encounters.
“I’m blatantly asking for their social media usernames without sharing mine, just to see if we know any of the same people,” she said.
‘If we do it, I’ll message whoever’s closest to me and ask about the team. Women, if possible.
She said women are more likely to understand that she is messaging them for their own safety without calling her “crazy.”
Some dating apps allow users to join using a nickname or pseudonym which can protect their privacy, but Carly said to ask for a first and last name so you can do a thorough Google search.
“Nowadays EVERYONE exists online and any man who doesn’t feel comfortable giving you his most basic details before meeting you is either not who he says he is or has something to hide,” she said.
Carly said that if the person you’re talking to on an app is a stranger, always meet in public places and never go somewhere private during or after the date.
“NEVER go to their house, have them pick you up in their car or have them come to yours,” he said.
Carly said that if the person you’re talking to on an app is a stranger, you should always meet in public places and never go somewhere private during or after the date.
‘Don’t go back to your hotel or a ‘house party’ or ‘friend’s house’ afterwards, unless you want a spike added to your drink.
He said if a man doesn’t respect those boundaries, it’s a “monumental red flag.”
Carly said another way to stay safe on a date is to inform trusted friends of your whereabouts.
“Tell a friend the name of the person you’re meeting, where you’re going, and change locations as the night goes on,” he suggested.
‘If you have an iPhone, you can use the FindMy app to activate location sharing. I permanently share my whereabouts with two of my best single friends and they share theirs in return.
Finally, the cautious single said to always “have a way out” on a date so you can get away from a situation you suspect may be unsafe.
“You show up and they’re angry or the place is sketchy or you don’t like it or you just don’t feel right,” he said.
“Arrange for someone to call you at a certain time in advance and fake a situation so that if you want to go, you now have a reason to do so.”
Carly said she’s more than happy to volunteer to call any of her followers if they’re feeling unsafe on a date.