- Eric Grothe says he faked injuries to avoid playing
- He opens up about mental demons and drug use.
- He takes responsibility for the breakup of his family.
Parramatta Eels icon Eric Grothe has revealedly admitted he faked injuries to avoid playing and turned to drugs heavily after his football career ended.
Grothe, 64, is remembered as one of the most intimidating wingers in the history of the game, and was part of the Eels’ golden era, which saw ‘Guru’ win four premierships, including three in a row between 1981 and 1983.
Now rugby league’s toughest player has revealed that throughout his career he was frequently afraid and had “no self-esteem”.
“I played football with fear,” he explained on Andy Raymond’s show. Without filter podcast.
‘I felt like I was small; They all seemed bigger to me. She got worse. I just got uncomfortable, to the point that if it were a Sunday game, on Friday and Saturday nights I would be thinking I don’t want to play on Sunday.
Parramatta legend Eric Grothe says he faked injuries to avoid playing
Grothe admits to having had mental problems and says he played football “with fear”
‘That’s why I got to the point where I was faking injuries. It became too much for me, so I opted out. It was a battle that he was having a lot inside.
“There were several games that I sat out on Sunday morning. I called Dr (Peter) Manollaras (of the Eels) and said: “Pete, I can’t play, my knee or ankle hurts.” I told him I didn’t want to play. Then he would be happy.
‘I took drugs when I played, just standard marijuana. But I never really escaped from myself. You try to escape from yourself. You make excuses. Smoking took away the need to deal with it.
‘I learned a lot about depression after going through it. I struggled with that. I couldn’t find the strength to fight it or get past it to see the real picture. I was a mild-mannered, scared person.
Grothe says he hid his feelings from friends, family and teammates, and has only recovered in recent years after accepting responsibility for the breakup of his family.
“I broke my family by playing,” he said.
‘And that happened in 90-91, I think when my wife and I separated.
The football legend says that teammates and friends were not aware of his mental demons
Grothe (pictured right with his soccer star son, Eric Jr, center) says he used drugs a lot at times
I was retired then. I had both suits again. I was this scared, mild-mannered person and this other person who lived off the dream and thought I was tough.
‘Ego, chasing girls and that kind of stuff. I just did the wrong thing. I broke up the family.
‘Everything is fine now, but I did those things. I thought of myself before anything else.
Grothe confessed that he sometimes used drugs excessively after finishing his degree, calling it “a terrible cycle.”
“I did a lot of cocaine there for a while,” he said.
‘I half knew what could happen if I did it too much. It’s just fleeting. When you get down and lie in bed, you start thinking, ‘Why? ‘Why did I do that?’
‘Reality comes and goes when you think you’re going to have more.
‘It’s a terrible cycle. You feel like there’s no end to this, but there is, there always is.’