AAn elegance coach has revealed the seven kinds of jokes you should never say if you’re trying to be a “lady.”
Anna Bey, who divides her time between London and Geneva, took to YouTube to explain the seven mistakes elegant people don’t make at jokes.
She noted that when people make certain kinds of jokes based on things like people’s appearance or where they come from, you can strike a chord.
Anna added that sometimes it can be best to leave bold humor to the professionals.
Here FEMAIL reveals her seven kinds of jokes that a lady should apparently never tell…
Anna Bey, who splits her time between London and Geneva, took to YouTube to explain the seven mistakes elegant people don’t make when they joke
SOMETHING THAT IS TRUE – AND SENSITIVE
Anna: ‘Sometimes it becomes problematic if you joke about something that is true, but for that person it is on the sensitive side.
“Suppose you were making fun of someone’s appearance. Someone has a big nose and you’re kidding… There’s a chance that person is insecure about their nose.
“Maybe they’ve been teased about it all their lives, and now you’re kidding.
“Or let’s say that person is overweight and… [make a joke saying] “Did you have to pay for an extra airplane seat? Not funny.
“Sensitive topics should always be treated with care and never made fun of if they are unlikely to be true.”
As a warning, she added: “The only time I would say… [it’s ok] having this kind of chatter with someone… is when you have a certain rapport with a person.
“There’s also a golden rule, if the person can’t change it in five seconds, don’t joke about it.”
A CULTURE, COUNTRY OR RELIGION
The elegance coach said, “So comedians are really good at taking a stereotype and turning it into a joke that gets really funny. But are you a comedian?
“For this reason, I would never go in the direction of making jokes. Someone, or let’s say about a culture, a country or religion where you have certain stereotypes.
“Listen, it may sound like common sense, but people still think that, say, making fun of certain stereotypes is hilarious.”
YOUR OWN NEGATIVE OPINIONS
The elegance coach said, “I do believe that many of us do this innocently at times. However, there are those who take it a little too far and do it a little passive-aggressive.
‘If you have a critical opinion about something’ [to do with] a person and then you tell them, but you make a joke of it. For example, let’s say you hate the way I dress and you want to let me know.
“So if you said this joke, Anna, for example, I think my grandma’s clothes would look really good on you.”
She continued: “I may not agree with that. So I would misunderstand. I might not even find it funny because I wouldn’t really understand it. Okay, what are you trying to say with that?
‘But one example where it would be good is if I keep talking about or even making fun of my own bad memory. Let’s just say that’s a fact, and I’ll keep bringing it up a little bit here, a little bit there. I keep making jokes about it myself.
“So if you say, let’s say Anna, you and your goldfish memory, that’s okay, because I’ve already discussed it.”
SARCASM THAT GOES TOO FAR
Anna said: ‘[Sarcasm] isn’t always funny for a few simple reasons. First, if the person doesn’t understand that you’re being sarcastic, you lose the whole point of the joke.
“Instead, that person might think you’re serious and that you’re a complete j*** for saying certain things.
‘So you have to be really aware and make sure that that person has a little sense of humor, or that that person can interpret my message well.
“Sometimes of course, if you take it a little too far, if it’s a little unclear in your own way of sarcasm, you don’t really get it, okay, when is it sarcasm? When is it serious? Then you need to think about how to convey your sarcasm.
“But then number two, if your sarcasm is going too far, using it too often or taking it to a level where the information you’re giving is just way too harsh.
Just because it’s a joke doesn’t mean you can say anything. So think about it this way, sarcasm can still be seen as your own personal opinion, even if you say it as a joke. So don’t go too far and think about what kind of sarcasm you’re saying.’
Anna noted that when people make certain kinds of jokes based on things like people’s looks or where they’re from, you can strike a chord.
Anna said, “Perhaps you know by now that anything vulgar does not equate to elegance. And of course vulgar jokes fall under this bracket because stylish people are aware of the vulgarity of their humor.
“I mean, of course you can always pull a prank between good friends that’s a little X-rated or spicy, but I’d say that’s okay because you’re in your intimate circle with people you can really trust.
“And here you can go wild and get your hair done because you really know these people and these people know you.
The elegance coach said, “Well, one thing that doesn’t feel elegant or might feel awkward to some is when you have self-deprecating humor that’s gone a little too far.
‘But what is self-mockery? It’s when you make fun of yourself, but you might be kidding about something that is widely known about you, or you might be kidding about a rumor about you.
“You have to be careful when you joke about yourself in a demeaning way. You also don’t want to make fun of yourself about something you’re insecure about.
‘Cause even if some people might find it funny, let’s say you’re plus size and you joke about your weight, but if you still have some inner insecurity about it, it often shines through.
“And when it shines through, it creates a bit of an awkward atmosphere because people understand that that person is actually a little insecure about that.
‘And it’s a little weird because you don’t really know, should you laugh? Shouldn’t you? I would instead joke about myself if something is a little funny or cute about certain traits of yours, and you are not insecure about this fact.
Or let’s say if there are rumors about you that you know aren’t true and you just want to deal with it in a fun way.”
“So they may not take offense because they will understand what you stand for and who you are. The thing with a good mood is this is that when it’s a little inappropriate it’s often funny.
But it stops being funny when you push it a little further than that, when it gets a little too inappropriate, when it’s so vulgar it almost becomes awkward.
Another problem with vulgar jokes, it’s not necessarily about what is said, but more about how it is received.
‘That’s why I said with good friends, do what you want. But with regular friends, with acquaintances, with strangers, you have to be really careful because you don’t know them well enough to understand their sense of humor, their level of insult, their background, what is sensitive about them, and so on. .
“And beware, some people are easily offended and then it’s the ones who aren’t. And the art of elegance, ladies, is being able to really communicate with all kinds of people.
‘That means you’re constantly reading people and you adapt a bit to the person you’re having a conversation with.
“Not adapting in the sense of changing who you are, but rather understanding when it’s the right time for this side of you to step forward and when to tone down another side.
A BAD TELLED JOKE
Anna said, “Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. And you need to know how to tell a joke the right way so that it sounds really funny and not awkward.
And the secret to really good jokes is often in telling stories. And good storytelling is knowing how the building process works.
“For example, you have to really understand where the punch line is and hit it really hard and put emphasis on it so it becomes clear and funny.
“People who are bad at telling jokes usually just rush the jokes. You really want to take your time. You want to excite the audience. You want to create some intrigue and make them feel like “what? Now what? I need to know.”
So working with breaks would therefore be really good as it adds a bit of tension. And then when it’s time for the climax, you just go for it like there’s no tomorrow to really capture that punch line.
“But one more thing, ladies, make sure you don’t laugh at your own joke in the process.”