Eight signs that YOU are the nightmare neighbor and the status symbol in the garden that could start a fight, according to our etiquette expert

If you let your kids play in the yard before 8 a.m. (or have ever mowed the lawn at 8 p.m.), it may already be too late.

The list of offenses that will irritate your neighbors and make you the subject of gossip in the WhatsApp group is long and is often the result of forgetting how terrible wars between neighbors can be.

“We don’t choose our family or our neighbors. We’re all in it,” says author and etiquette coach Jo Bryant. “It’s all about balance, consideration and good communication.

“But because we’re British, we often expect people to know what we want when we don’t say it. Good neighbourly etiquette means always being mindful of how we make others feel and the impact our actions have on them.”

He adds: “If the relationship with the neighbours is broken, it will be a stain on the landscape forever… We all have different things that bother us, so be careful where your lives collide.”

Here are eight signs that you are the neighbor everyone hates…

You let your kids go out to play early

People rarely think about the noise in the early morning hours. They focus more on the noise in the afternoon. But having young children play outside at dawn during the summer is unfair, especially on weekends.

You can probably go out with the kids sometime between 8am and 9am, but any time before 8am on a Saturday or Sunday is definitely a bad idea.

Everyone can listen to your Zoom meeting

Try not to be the person who talks loudly and opens the folding doors and all the windows, and then sits in on Zoom meetings so the neighbors can hear every word. You’ve created your own echo chamber and no one will thank you for it.

You use the next door as a delivery depot.

Most companies will allow you to name a preferred neighbor to make the delivery if you are not home. Ask them first and offer to do the same for them.

If your neighbor picks up your package, it is your duty to pick it up as soon as possible. There is nothing worse than having a huge package cluttering up the hallway, watching someone come home from work next door, and waiting forever for them to come pick it up.

It is the responsibility of the person who missed the delivery to go and pick it up quickly.

You are the owner of a noisy jacuzzi

Check the settings to make sure it is on silent mode – often the problems people have actually have to do with the monotonous noise of the hot tub mechanism.

That said, people in hot tubs can also create excessive noise, so if you must have one, place it as far away from your neighbor’s house as possible.

You cut the grass at 8 pm

If you have a lawn, don’t mow it at mealtimes. And certainly not at 8pm on the only warm night of the year, when people are likely to be sitting outside eating dinner.

Likewise, don’t buy a high-pressure hose and then spend all your time looking for things to wash. People don’t want that to be the soundtrack to their summer.

You overwhelm your neighbors

It’s a good idea to visit new neighbors when they move in so you know what you’re dealing with. Naturally, when you have a new neighbor, you’re going to think about the negatives rather than the positives, and no one’s immediate reaction is, “Wow, we’ve got new people next door.”

There’s no need to start inviting everyone over to your house and imposing yourself on them – it’s overwhelming and you also risk falling into the trap of being invited back, which can end up with you hiding out in your own house to avoid the obligation.

Remember that neighbors are just that, and not necessarily your friends unless a friendship develops naturally over time. Instead, just walk up and introduce yourself. And no, you don’t need to bring a basket of baked goods.

You throw parties without warning

If people are warned in advance about unexpected noise at a party, then it will be very difficult for them to complain, as long as shared parameters are respected.

But if the neighbors don’t know how long the music or noise will last, they get nervous. I always recommend setting a start and end time.

Please note that if you say you will make sure it is finished by 11pm and you are not, your neighbors have the right to knock on your door at 11:30pm.

Special and one-off occasions may warrant a later end time if everyone is forewarned, but regular weekend gatherings and noise should end earlier, say before 10 p.m., especially if you have neighbors with small children.

You are constantly complaining

Whatever you do, don’t be the neighbor who complains all the time. You’ll become a nuisance that people will ignore.

Don’t be the one fidgeting at the curtains to see if the people in number four put the bin in the right space.

Always be on the lookout so that when you do make a complaint it is seen as something more reasonable and genuine, with some impact, instead of constantly criticizing people.