Dear Jane,
My boyfriend of three years broke up with me completely out of the blue last week, and I felt devastated and emotionally vulnerable.
The next night was my work Christmas party and all my colleagues were determined to make sure I had fun, despite the break-up.
Suffice it to say, I got very, very drunk.
Since I started working at this company last year, I have constantly made flirty jokes with a handsome guy on my team. I’ve always been in a relationship, so it never went beyond little jokes and cheeky comments.
But after we got into drinking at the party, I ended up kissing him in front of all my coworkers.
My memory is fuzzy, but I think we were talking in the middle of the dance floor for at least 30 minutes. I also discovered a crumpled print in my bag that we were working on in the photo booth. Big yikes!
Luckily I was too drunk to go home with him, but the next morning I woke up with the worst hangxiety of my life.
Dear Jane: I got too drunk and did something SO embarrassing at the office party.
I don’t remember exactly how we left the stuff, but he texted me the next day saying he had “fun” with me and hoped I got home safely.
I’m dreading going back to the office on Monday.
Now that I’ve kissed him, we can never go back to our innocent flirty friendship.
I’m afraid he’s going to try to kiss me again – or ask me out on a date, which I’m not ready for yet.
Plus, many of my coworkers saw the kiss and know that I only just broke up with my boyfriend, which is so humiliating.
How can I clean up this mess without ruining my friendship with my coworker or hurting his feelings?
By,
Heartbreak and fear
International bestselling author Jane Green provides sage advice on readers’ most burning issues in her column about Aunt’s agony
Dear Heartache and Hangxiety,
Trust me, we’ve been there. Even if we haven’t been in your exact shoes, most of us have had too much to drink due to heartbreak… and done things we’re not proud of.
The first thing to remember is that it was just a kiss – and a drunken one at that. There’s no reason why that kiss should get in the way of a friendship now.
Get ahead of the potential drama, invite the handsome guy for coffee and tell him you value your friendship, and hope that an ill-advised drunken kiss won’t get in the way.
You may even be able to find humor in the situation. If he has any dignity, he will undoubtedly respond accordingly. If he suggests a date or says he wants to explore a different kind of relationship, explain that you’re not ready yet.
Open communication is the key word here.
Be relieved you didn’t go home with him. And remember, it’s best not to drink as much at work events in the future.
It’s easy to laugh off drunken mistakes with friends, but much harder to do so with colleagues.
No matter how friendly you are to your colleagues, they are still colleagues and it is still work. You have to remember that and keep your wits about you.