DR. MAX. THE SPIRIT DOCTOR: when it is good to neglect your child

Our obsession with cleanliness makes our children sick. It seems like a paradox, doesn't it, in an effort to keep young people healthy by eliminating germs, are we making them sick?

Advertisements

This week's research showed that wearing dirty shoes indoors could protect children against asthma because bacteria in the soil increase their resilience. Homes that are too clean have also been associated with the increase in conditions such as eczema, asthma and allergies.

It is much better to expose children to a few germs, as this helps to stimulate their immune system and protect them from more serious infections and diseases.

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and relapses will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant (file photo)

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and relapses will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant (file photo)

We can also learn a lot from this approach when it comes to the mental health of young people.

Just as raising children in an overly clean house can cause physical health problems, over-protecting them against the cruel reality of living can cause long-term psychological damage.

Advertisements

Yes, SAT & # 39; s are heavy and stressful. Yes, homework can be boring and difficult. Yes, not winning the egg and spoon race on sports day can be humiliating.

But if parents do not allow children to fail, or to fight or to deal with setbacks, or to tolerate things they do not like, they do their offspring as a bad service.

What I need is what I & # 39; loving neglect & # 39; name - parents must let their children make blunders and train how to pick themselves up, while also letting them know they will be there for them when they really need help (file photo)

What I need is what I & # 39; loving neglect & # 39; name - parents must let their children make blunders and train how to pick themselves up, while also letting them know they will be there for them when they really need help (file photo)

What I need is what I & # 39; loving neglect & # 39; name – parents must let their children make blunders and train how to pick themselves up, while also letting them know they will be there for them when they really need help (file photo)

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and kickbacks will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant.

It is these essential skills that help them cope with the daily stresses and strains of adult life, from juggling family and work to caring for aging parents and small children, and dealing with difficult situations that they may face such as losing their job or the death of a spouse.

When I was young, my mother responded by default to almost all of my complaints or complaints: & # 39; Oh, you will survive. & # 39; And of course I did too.

Advertisements

She was not unfriendly – when I really needed her, she was always there. But it meant that I had to put things in perspective and learn not to run to her or my father unless things were really serious.

I remember on a whim that I wanted to learn the trumpet. Although they were very difficult, my parents found the money to buy one. Shortly thereafter, I decided I didn't want to learn, but my parents insisted that I play damn well for eight years.

I was disgusted with a passion and was scared every Thursday when I received my lesson. I would cry, scream and beg, but my parents just said: & # 39; difficult. & # 39;

Apart from a lasting hatred for jazz, I learned that life is not always fun and that you sometimes have to do things that you do not want. It also taught me about the value of money and to think carefully before I asked for things.

These days, the young adults I see are dressed with such difficulty that they have no coping skills, no mental resilience, and crumble when they no longer have a parent floating around to figure everything out.

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and relapses will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant (file photo)
Advertisements

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and relapses will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant (file photo)

Rather than traumatizing them, daily trials and relapses will help children develop coping strategies, learn to communicate their feelings, build resilience, and become self-reliant (file photo)

This is not their fault. If you have never made mistakes, how can you expect to be able to handle it in the real world? I am sure this is why so many young people struggle when they go to college.

What I need is what I & # 39; loving neglect & # 39; name – parents must let their children make blunders and train how to pick themselves up, while also letting them know they will be there for them when they really need help.

It's about balance and making it clear that you love them and that your apparent indifference is not because you don't care, but because you care so much.

Advertisements

The latest figures show that the number of people younger than 30 who are being treated for heroin use is at a historic low.

This should be good news, but I have noticed that while my younger patients often say in the first instance that they do not smoke or do not use drugs, if I continue to question them, they admit to using cannabis. They simply do not consider it a medicine, but of course it is.

I am worried that they think it is harmless if the truth is very different. It is addictive, can cause problems with sleep, mood swings, irritability and restlessness – and it is illegal.

The lesson that every doctor must learn

Patients with an eating disorder die because doctors have a & # 39; severe lack of training & # 39; according to a report from MPs this week.

I work in this area and have come across this time and again. I am worried how, despite the fact that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of mental health (one in five people with eating disorders will die from the disease), doctors know so little about it.

Advertisements

When I was in medical school, I didn't have a single lecture about eating disorders and I didn't know anything about the risks.

So later, when I was working as a junior doctor and a young woman with anorexia was brought in by her parents because she had chest pain, I reassured them that it would be okay.

She even had a heart attack and died 30 minutes later. To teach me a lesson, the counselor let me tell the parents that, contrary to what I had told them, their daughter had failed.

This terrible tragedy affected me so deeply that I promised to learn everything I could about eating disorders.

The fact that young doctors are taught so little about these conditions is evidence of the stigma that patients with eating disorders are confronted with. It is not considered serious or requires attention.

Eating disorders are common and can be fatal. Learning about them must be on every curriculum of the medical school.

Work to escape a spiral of despair

Working just one day a week is enough to combat depression, new research from the University of Cambridge shows.

When I was in medical school, I lived on a well-planned municipal estate. Our neighbors were nice, but I realized that nobody was working. Next door the mother had a bad back, the father suffered from & # 39; stress & # 39; and the two sons had depression.

They all had benefits. However, their apparent diseases did not interfere with their lives – they turned out not to be eliminated at all.

I saw the sons, both in their twenties, aimlessly kicking a football all day.

Unemployment and depression are interconnected and those who are unemployed become depressed, which means that they are moved from unemployment benefit to disability benefit, where they languish (file photo)
Advertisements

Unemployment and depression are interconnected and those who are unemployed become depressed, which means that they are moved from unemployment benefit to disability benefit, where they languish (file photo)

Unemployment and depression are interconnected and those who are unemployed become depressed, which means that they are moved from unemployment benefit to disability benefit, where they languish (file photo)

As a doctor, I see people with debilitating diseases who really deserve state support.

Likewise, I would be the last person to belittle the devastating effects of mental illness.

But when you are in an outpatient clinic, it is unusual to see people who are so bad in depression that they cannot work in the long term.

Advertisements

Unemployment and depression are interdependent and those who are unemployed become depressed, which means that they are moved from unemployment benefits to disability benefits, where they languish.

It's hard to get people out of this spiral. But helping them get back to work not only prevents them from claiming benefits, it also gives them a sense of purpose. And that must be more effective than football all day.

A terrible plan for teachers

This week, Theresa May has promised to train all teachers to recognize the mental health problems of their students.

This is a terrible idea. Overworked teacher friends of mine say they already do more social work – from pastoral care to child protection – than actual education. No wonder so many burnout and leave.

I am also worried that teachers will struggle to distinguish between the daily stress of a child and a serious emerging mental illness.

Advertisements
Advertisements

It is understandable that they are careful and refer anyone who is uncertain about the mental health care of children, who is about to break.

We need to invest in children's mental health, but trying to turn teachers into mental health professionals is not the answer.

Dr. Max prescribes for …

Tumerically in your kitchen

The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric have been widely described, but I was skeptical about the claims until I broke my foot last year, causing joint pain and tendon inflammation.

A colleague recommended turmeric, which I initially took in tea and then as an oral spray, and my foot mobility is back to normal. Interestingly, my cold also cleared up within a day.

Now I started using turmeric while cooking – it is delicious in soup or sprinkled with roast chicken.

The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric have been widely described, but I was skeptical of the allegations until I broke my foot last year, causing joint pain and tendon inflammation (file photo)

The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric have been widely described, but I was skeptical of the allegations until I broke my foot last year, causing joint pain and tendon inflammation (file photo)

The anti-inflammatory properties of turmeric have been widely described, but I was skeptical of the allegations until I broke my foot last year, causing joint pain and tendon inflammation (file photo)

. (TagsToTranslate) Dailymail (t) health

- Advertisement -