When Stefan Tankov, 38, started behaving strangely in the fall of 2022, doctors assumed it was due to depression and type 2 diabetes.
His wife, Sile, now 42, began to notice changes in his personality: he became emotionally withdrawn and “child-like,” and needed her help with simple tasks like getting on a bus.
Within six months he was doing things that were completely out of character, like stealing bottles of wine from local stores.
That’s when he was referred to a specialist who performed neurological tests that yielded a devastating diagnosis: early-onset dementia.
After Stefan and Sile Tankov’s wedding in April 2021, they were in their own bubble, but after two years everything started to fall apart.
In September 2022, Sile, now 42 years old, began to notice changes in Stefan’s personality: he became less emotional and “childish” and even had a hard time taking the bus alone.
Sile, a high school teacher, first noticed Stefan’s personality change when she stopped asking him how his day was and instead asked him what was for dinner.
He was unusually rigid at dinnertime, after which he would go straight to bed.
She remembers his confusion when she asked him to take a bus to visit her in the hospital.
He struggled to hold down a job and became unusually withdrawn, repeatedly forgetting simple tasks his wife asked him to do.
She assumed her husband was depressed and made an appointment with the GP for a check-up.
The doctor conducted tests that revealed she had type 2 diabetes and concluded that her symptoms were a combination of the disease and mental health difficulties.
“We thought it might have been causing confusion, but it didn’t get better,” Sile said.
‘In the middle of a doctor’s appointment, he got up and left. I had to bribe him with a McDonald’s to get him to come back. “It was like dealing with a child.”
It wasn’t until Stefan began stealing wine from her local store in April 2023 that she took him to the hospital, where tests revealed his cognitive function was “very low.”
Stefan struggled to hold down a job and began working as a temp, becoming withdrawn and repeatedly forgetting simple tasks that Sile asked him to do.
The family decided to take Stefan to the hospital, where tests revealed that his cognitive function was “very low.” Doctors ordered MRIs and CT scans with a full psychological report
Six months later, in April 2023, Sile noticed that staff at a local store were “unruly.” Her husband approached her and informed her that she had been banned from the business.
The store owner had caught Stefan repeatedly trying to steal bottles of wine.
The family decided to take Stefan to the hospital, where tests revealed that his cognitive function was “very low.” Doctors ordered MRIs and CT scans with a full psychological report.
After the hospital visit, Sile cared for him at home for the next four weeks.
She said: ‘One morning I found him about to put his hands on the plate, which was bright red, to see if it was hot. He walked away, walked in front of the cars and looked at the people. We stopped going out. He started vaping and was incontinent.
‘I don’t know how I managed it. “I was lucky to be able to take time off work, but I needed to get back or we wouldn’t have any money,” he added.
Sile took her husband back to the hospital, where he underwent CT scans, MRIs and a lumbar puncture before receiving the devastating diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia, a rare type of disease that causes behavioral and language problems.
“I was in complete shock…we were hoping to have a family,” Sile said.
Dementia is the leading cause of death in the UK, affecting around one million people in the country.
The charity estimates that more than 70,000 people are living with early-onset dementia, where symptoms begin before the age of 65.
Dementia is the leading cause of death in the UK, affecting around one million people in the country.
It is estimated that more than 70,000 people are living with young-onset dementia, where symptoms begin before the age of 65.
It can cause a wide range of symptoms, especially in the early stages.
Young-onset dementia is also more likely to be genetic, and in most cases, younger people with dementia do not have any serious or long-term health problems.
Unable to return home, Stefan remained in a nursing home before being transferred back to hospital, where he remained for 11 months, with Sile only able to book one-hour visiting slots.
Sile found it “difficult” to never see his room and had to deal with constant calls from social workers, consultants, psychologists and nurses.
Stefan finally moved into a “wonderful” new nursing home in July, but things are still difficult for Sile.
“You don’t expect to find yourself buying stuffed animals for newborns because your 40-year-old husband has started chewing on the teddy bears he needs to sleep and you’re worried he might choke,” she said.
He claims doctors told him in May that if he was still here in six months to a year, he would be fine.
Sile admits that the ordeal has left her isolated. While others visit their parents and grandparents at the residence, she visits her husband.
But she has had the support of family, friends, colleagues and neighbours, as well as the Alzheimer’s Society, Admiral Nurses and eight weeks of counseling with Rare Dementia Support.
“He is happy at home and I love being there with him, even if it’s just to lie in bed next to him and give him a hug.” There are little signs that make it all worth it, like when he sings a song my brother wrote or squeezes my hand. If I say I love you, he’ll say, ‘I love you so much,'” he said.
“When I look back, those happy moments are the memories I want to have.”
The Alzheimer’s Society is asking people to share stories on alzheimers.org.uk/stories
