Does the thought of walking down the aisle make your stomach turn, even though you truly care about the person who will greet you at the altar?
You may be suffering from gamophobia, that is, fear of marriage.
According Psychology TodayThe fear “exceeds typical commitment issues and encompasses a freeze specifically tied to long-term romantic relationships or marriage.”
The fear of romantic commitment could be so serious as to interfere with daily life, the article adds.
But psychologists have now suggested the best ways to overcome it.
If the thought of walking down the aisle makes your stomach turn, you may have gamophobia, that is, a fear of marriage or serious romantic commitment (file image)
There are three main underlying causes that can trigger gamophobia.
One, someone may have had “past traumatic experiences” around relationships.
“Those who have experienced abusive relationships may develop a deep fear of commitment as a defense mechanism to avoid emotional turmoil,” the article explains.
Second, some may fear the loss of independence that follows committed relationships and marriage.
In particular, the perception that commitment comes with the “absence of autonomy” leads to feelings of suffocation and resistance to the idea of relationships.
“Driven by this intense desire for autonomy, some come to view long-term commitment, such as marriage, as a threat to their individuality,” the article details.
Third, general “underlying” issues could lead to a case of gamophobia.
Deeper psychological problems, including attachment disorders, low self-esteem, and fear of intimacy, could be factors.
There are ways to help your partner who struggles with gamophobia, including establishing shared, meaningful rituals and creating alternative rules of engagement for the relationship (file image)
With that, research has found a correlation between having parents who were not married and not engaging in adult romantic relationships.
Regardless of the reasons why someone suffers from gamophobia, there are two main ways to help a partner cope, according to Psychology Today.
The first is to essentially establish a series of rituals in the midst of your interactions and daily life as a couple.
This would mean creating any kind of meaningful routine around something of shared importance.
The medium recommends starting by identifying ‘symbols or metaphors with personal meaning, that represent aspects such as growth, unity, resilience or shared experiences’ around which to build the ritual or rituals.
The practice of rituals can become part of everyday life or performed at longer intervals; In all cases, consistency is the key.
For example, a couple who loves trying different types of food might alternate making new and interesting dishes every Sunday night.
That said, feel free to be flexible about the details of the rituals as time goes on.
The second suggestion for helping a partner with gamophobia is to agree on “alternative partnership options aligned with your partner’s comfort and values.”
Of course, this may require greater commitment on the part of the couple, who would prefer a more traditional expression of commitment, namely in the form of a traditional marriage.
A “personalized commitment agreement,” for example, would involve “outlining guidelines that define the parameters of the relationship, designed to reflect the unique values, preferences, and goals of both partners.”
For example, a couple may marry but choose to live apart.
Alternatively, a romantic relationship means prioritizing companionship and friendship, along with emotional intimacy, over romantic or sexual intimacy.
This could establish a “safe haven” for the gamophobic partner and hopefully eventually make them feel comfortable enough for more romantic or sexual modes of connection.
“Once you create a safe relational haven, you can turn your obstacle into opportunity, creating connections that defy the odds,” the article concludes.