Denise Welch has revealed that she once wished a plane crash would kill her and her infant son Matthew Healy while battling severe postpartum depression.
The 62-year-old Loose Women star shared how she was struck by a sudden depressive episode before boarding a flight to Australia with her one-year-old child – who is now the frontman of pop rock band The 1975.
Denise admitted that when the plane was in the air, she “wished the plane would go down” so she would be “out of this pain.”
Speaking: Denise Welch has revealed that she once wished a plane crash would kill her and her infant son Matthew Healy while battling severe postpartum depression
Speak on the Zombiemum podcast with presenter Laura Dockrill, 34, Denise said she had the thought when she decided to take her son with her then husband, Tim Healy, who was filming for the BBC in Australia at the time.
She said, ‘The night before I went, there was a massive depression. I can’t tell you what it was like to go to the airport and get on that plane with this depression.
When I was in the air – I told Matthew this years later when he was an adult, I would never have done this to a child – I wish the plane would crash.
‘In my mind I wished it would be because then I wouldn’t have made the decision.
Tough: The Loose Women star, 62, shared how she was stricken with a sudden depression before boarding a flight to Australia with her one-year-old son (pictured with sons Matthew Healy, right, and Louis, left, in 2015 ))
“It was the point where I wanted something that I couldn’t control and I thought, ‘Why don’t it just go down and then I’m out of this pain”. Now I can’t believe I had those thoughts. ‘
Her son Matthew, now 32, wrote about the incident in a 1975 emotional song ‘She Lays Down’ that deals with the topic of his mother’s depression.
He captioned it, “Well we’ve got a plane, we’re going to see my dad again / She prayed that we fell from the sky / Just to relieve the pain immediately.”
Denise has spoken openly about some of the issues she had and, in a candid interview earlier this year, reflected on her 32-year-old ‘endogenous’ battle with depression.
Emotional: Her son Matthew, now 32, wrote about the incident in a 1975 song “ She Lays Down ” that deals with the topic of his mother’s depression
She spoke with Kelly Pegg and Jenny Powell on the podcast The Hot Mess Mums Club and also spoke about her new role as Trish Minniver on Hollyoaks.
Reflecting on her life during the chat, the former Coronation Street star spoke bravely about her battle with clinical depression.
Denise said her depression started in 1989 after she welcomed her oldest child, which she said was the ‘best and worst’ year of her life.
The actress, who also has son Louis, 20, with ex-husband Tim Healy, 69, said: ‘I’ve always said this happened twice in my life. 1989 when I had Matthew was the best and worst year of my life.
Candid: Denise reflected on her 32-year ‘endogenous’ struggles with depression earlier this year in a candid interview (pictured in 2018)
“The best, because of course I had Matthew and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me, along with Louis, but also because it was the start of my 32-year battle with clinical depression.”
Denise admitted that because of the pandemic, 2020 was also the ‘best and worst’ for her, but she is grateful that her last episode of major depression was 2019.
She continued: ‘2020 is very similar, the best and the worst. Worst of all because we are immersed in this dystopian hell, and especially for those of us who have children, we are concerned about the consequences for them.
And, best because the last episode of major depression for me was in September 2019 and this is the longest, I’ve gone without a major depressive episode.
So all of 2020, and for those people who think depression is entirely related to circumstances, it’s not. Mine is endogenous, but I am emotional and tearful.
“I’ve been sad, I’ve been anxious, which is a perfectly normal reaction to the circumstances, but I haven’t had major depression.”
Denise added that 30 years later, people are now being encouraged to talk about their mental health, but there is still a “ long way to go. ”
Postnatal: Denise said her depression started in 1989 after welcoming her oldest child, the ‘best and worst’ year of her life (pictured with her son Matthew in 2011)