As college and high school graduation speakers advise the next generation, how about this advice? Accept defeat.
This does not mean playing to lose, but rather, if you lose, trying to learn from the experience in hopes of improving in the future. This approach has been adopted by past and present NBA greats, from Kobe Bryant to Giannis Antetokounmpo – as well as American chess grandmaster Maurice Ashley, who writes about it in his new book, Move by move: life lessons on and off the chess board.
“If you win, you’re supposed to do it,” Ashley says. “You did things you know… the skills you have cultivated over the years. It’s the losses you really remember, the things you didn’t know.”
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Ashley gave her first commencement address in April at Western Governors University, hosted by the University of Cincinnati.
“I think it’s great to learn chess lessons and apply them to your life,” Ashley says. “That kind of wisdom can benefit anyone, definitely young people who are about to make their way in the world.”
One chapter of the book has a title that many graduates may not want to hear: “Losing (because not Willpower Lose).”
As Ashley explains in the book, losing is inevitable even for the greatest competitors. What makes the difference is how you react. Ashley identifies Bryant and Antetokounmpo, as well as fellow chess grandmaster Irina Krush, as examples of people who have taken the opportunity to learn from defeat.
“Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know,” Ashley says. “Defeat and defeat clarify many things, or have the potential to do so. Hug him. Don’t try to run away from it.”
In the book, Ashley shares other counterintuitive observations while debunking myths about elite chess players: They don’t have superhuman memories that allow them to see multiple moves ahead. How could they? Almost 300 billion positions are possible after just four initial moves. As for that supposedly irresistible urge during a game that’s going well, it’s actually something to be wary of because it instills false confidence. Even the title of grandmaster itself is under scrutiny. Ashley likens it to being an advanced beginner in this 1,500-year-old quest.
In 1999, Ashley became the first black American chess grandmaster. He is a member of the US Chess Hall of Fame and was inducted in 2016. He marvels that two of his brothers, both former world champions, are in international halls of fame in their own sports: boxer. alicia ashley and kickboxer Devon Ashley.
“The three of us unexpectedly came from these very humble beginnings and ended up reaching the top of our professions,” he says, as he talks about his early childhood in Jamaica and his adolescence in New York City. “We had great examples, great role models. “I think the harsh environment we grew up in greatly shaped the people we became, the competitive people we became and the success we found here.”
In Ashley’s case, becoming a grandmaster came after a failed attempt the year before. Once again, what he helped was some original advice, this time from another grandmaster, Alexander Shabalov, in a moment that Ashley likens to the Karate Kid-style advice of Mr. Miyagi himself.
“To get anywhere, achieve any goal, you have to be able to do it,” Ashley says. “You have to put your whole soul into practice: exercise, train every day, eat well… It’s the same for every goal, for any achievement. You have to be able to achieve the goal before you try to do it in reality.”
When asked if he has ever faced racism in chess, he replies: “I have. I think racism is racism: whatever sport you play, things will happen,” including the “painful incidents” he experienced.
However, Ashley adds: “I think one thing chess players understand is checkmate. “Once people quickly realized that I was a serious student of the game, they had to buckle up, roll up their sleeves and fight to the end.”
The book emphasizes respect for one’s opponent, although it recognizes that this is a rare quality in all aspects of society, from chess to politics to everyday life. Ashley credits the great Magnus Carlsen as someone who was able to figure out his opponents. She mentions how the Norwegian’s understanding of his rival Ian Nepomniachtchi helped Carlsen win a world-record 136-move showdown during a 2021 world championship match in Dubai.
“Understanding what goes on inside other people’s heads is a superpower worth cultivating every day,” Ashley writes.
In the book, Ashley also delves into the formative experiences that arose from the adversity of her childhood.
Her mother emigrated from Jamaica to the United States in 1968, when Ashley was two years old. He and his siblings were cared for by his grandmother, and the family was not reunited in the United States for another decade. His parents separated, an event that Ashley later discussed with her parents individually. Each of those conversations was painful but helpful. Ashley had become a father when he talked to his mother about the separation and gained a new understanding of what it is like to sacrifice for a child. He also discovered that his childhood card and domino games with his father had been a good training ground for chess.
The book is also a tribute to New York City as a crucible of chess, especially in the pre-Internet era.
“New York is a fantastic place to learn chess,” says Ashley. “There’s a solid park scene,” from Washington Square Park to St Nicholas Park and Fulton Park.
Ashley remembers how he started playing as a teenager at Brooklyn Tech and tested his skills at Prospect Park and City College. He believes that the city’s chess venues can be compared to New York’s legendary Rucker Parkwho helped develop the talents of basketball stars like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
If you’ve noticed a lot of basketball references, there’s a reason.
“It’s my favorite sport,” says Ashley, who brings the vision of a chess player to the game. “When I watch basketball, I see chess pieces on the court. “They all have different roles, different strengths and weaknesses.”
The book’s introduction notes that Luka Dončić of the Dallas Mavericks, now playing in the NBA Finals against the Boston Celtics, hones his basketball skills in part by playing chess for hours on end. (Celts Jaylen Brown He is also a chess enthusiast and Chess.com promoted a challenge involving both players, scheduled for the final). And Ashley mentions Antetokounmpo’s viral comments in last season’s playoffs about accepting defeat after the then-top-seeded Milwaukee Bucks were eliminated in the first round.
“No matter what happens, other people have a say in whether you win or not,” Ashley says, summarizing Antetokounmpo’s message. “Get up, do the work and try harder so you can be better. “Those are fantastic words.”
Reflecting on that video led Ashley to share a few more life lessons: look for slow but steady progress and remember the unlikely identity of your greatest opponent.
“One game at a time, one step at a time, incremental growth. Keep getting up every day, be better than yesterday,” she states. “The only person you’re fighting is really yourself.”