Dear Jane,
Three years ago, I was diagnosed with non-alcoholic liver disease and shortly after, blood tests revealed that I had cancer.
The doctor who diagnosed me told me that the prognosis was not positive and that I probably only had six months to live. I sought a second opinion and that doctor confirmed the initial prognosis.
After the initial shock, I decided I wasn’t going to allow myself to live in misery for the last few months of my life. So I told my friends and loved ones about it and started selling and giving things away. I spent money like it was old-fashioned and said “yes” to all the fun things I’d never allowed myself to do before.
And I got ready. I was ready.
But after that six-month “deadline” passed, my condition remained virtually the same. Three years later, I am still here, as healthy as it is possible to be with my condition, managing my disease perfectly.
Dear Jane, the doctors told me I only had six months to live, three years later I am still alive but I feel like my life is over.
I know most people would say it’s a blessing to have received that kind of sentence and then move on from it, but the truth is it has ruined my life.
After telling everyone the news, I am now too embarrassed to show my face in public or even talk to them on the phone. I feel like a fraud. I also learned what the people in my life really think of me – the people who truly cared and the people who didn’t care about me.
The humiliation I feel at the thought that people think I have faked this terminal diagnosis is immense. Even my children have been affected by this.
What’s left of my life is ruined by shame. I truly feel that things would have been better for everyone if the diagnosis had been correct.
International bestselling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ hottest issues in her Dear Jane column, the agony aunt
Please help me know what to do.
Of,
Life or death
Dear Life or Death,
I am so sorry that shame is clouding such wonderful news and that you feel nothing but mortification at this beautiful second chance.
You say that it has ruined your life, but you don’t specify what people have said to you, only what you think they are thinking. If they are true friends, I imagine they would be delighted to have this second chance.
Miracles happen all the time, and how lucky you are to continue to thrive despite such a devastating diagnosis.
Unless you have given them reason to doubt you, unless there is something I am not understanding, I would suggest you put the humiliation and shame aside and go on living a good life.
You say your children have been in chaos, and I wonder why. Do they not believe it either? If so, I wonder why you don’t show them your medical records or take them to your next doctor’s appointment.
Of course, if people explicitly doubt your story, that’s precisely what I would do: ask your doctor to provide evidence about how well you are doing even though all the odds point to a very different outcome.
Wishing you all the best.
(tags to translate)dailymail
