Dear Jane: My boyfriend proposed to me in the WORST place imaginable. So I had to say no.

Dear Jane,

My boyfriend and I are in our twenties and have been together for over three years.

For the past few months, I had a feeling that he might propose to me soon, although I didn’t know for sure.

His family lives in Florida and we planned a quick trip to visit them for his mother’s 60th birthday celebration last week.

But on the last day of our trip, my boyfriend insisted that we spend the day at Disney World in Orlando, just the two of us.

I must say this seemed strange to me. I’m not a big fan of theme parks and I had no idea he wasn’t either. But I continued the tour anyway and was happy to walk around the resort, eat some junk food and go for some walks.

However, as the sun set, my boyfriend did the unthinkable. And, while we stood in the shadow of Cinderella Castle, he got down on one knee… and proposed!

I felt completely humiliated. The people around us started clapping and cheering. Some were even taking pictures and recording videos of us.

I immediately tried to pick him up off the ground so we could escape the public humiliation, but he joked that he wouldn’t move until he got an answer.

So… I said no.

We left the park immediately and returned to his family’s house in silence. As you can imagine, things have been awkward since then.

I love my boyfriend very much, but now I’m questioning everything.

He chose to propose to me in a place that is not only humiliating but has no importance to either of us or our relationship.

What should I do?

Of,

Disney disaster

Dear Disney Disaster,

We are all human and do the best we can. Even so, we still make mistakes.

When people we love make a mistake, instead of taking responsibility for it, it is better to find the grace to forgive them. It is important to remember that your intention was always good, even if the end result was not what we wanted.

The fact is, your boyfriend loves you and was trying to find a memorable way to propose to you.

It wasn’t what you had in mind, nor did the setting have any special meaning, but this is No something I would reproach him for.

In fact, if you can forgive him, this could be something you will laugh about together for many years.

He was doing the best he could and you should try to focus on the fact that he loves you enough to propose to you in a public place, which is a very brave thing to do, regardless of where he did it.

I have to imagine that, as humiliated as you were, he also felt humiliated when you tried to take him away and then told him no.

A proposal takes only a few minutes and matters much less than a marriage, which (hopefully) will last a lifetime.

Of course, tell your boyfriend why you were upset. But frankly, this is eminently forgivable and certainly shouldn’t influence your way forward.

Dear Jane

I am 47 years old and recently separated from my wife of 15 years for many reasons, one of which was lack of sex.

I would say I have a healthy appetite for sex and now that I have met a new lady, the sex is good.

But one time during our pillow talk, he told me that, for many years, he had sex with his ex twice a day on average.

Maybe I’m a little naive, but that blew me away. We have sex about twice a week, which seemed like a good amount to me.

Now I’m worried that she isn’t as sexually attracted to me as she is to her ex-partner. Maybe I’m not enough for her.

It is true that she has gone through menopause since her previous relationship ended. Could that help explain why she’s not as sexually active anymore?

What do you think? Is twice a week normal?

Of,

Bruised masculinity

Dear bruised masculinity,

It might be a good idea to read about menopause and how it affects a woman’s libido. If your girlfriend wants to have sex twice a week after menopause, I’d say you’re in a great position.

Women’s estrogen levels decline during menopause and more than a third of women experience changes in their sexual desire, as well as their ability to enjoy it.

Vaginal dryness, pain, bladder problems, and simply not wanting to have sex anymore can cause problems in the bedroom for couples.

Your relationship is new and sexual appetites are always greater at the beginning, regardless of age.

You may find that as the relationship progresses, your twice-weekly romps may decrease. That would be very normal!

At the end of the day the most important thing is that you both feel satisfied.

The dynamic your girlfriend had with her ex will likely be different than the connection the two of you share.

No matter how vibrant your sex life may have been, remember that it wasn’t enough to keep you together.

There is an expression that says to compare is desperation. Comparing your bedroom antics to their previous sex life will only cause discomfort.

She is with you and sex twice a week after menopause is something to be applauded and certainly nothing to worry about.