Dear Jane,
I’ve been working the same job for about six years and until a few months ago, I was always very lucky to have been blessed with what I thought were excellent colleagues.
But in September, a new team member joined us and quickly established himself as the “heartthrob” of the office, gaining many fans, both among the women, who think he’s handsome, and the men, with whom he bonds. . with football and drink.
But of all of them, I was the one who had to work most closely with him, and I quickly realized that he had a much crueler side than he let on to most people.
I would listen to him make horrible, cruel comments to people at other companies on the phone and make disgusting, offensive jokes about some of the women in the office behind their backs… all of which was horrible, but I did my best to ignore it. and continue with my own work.
However, little by little his behavior began to become more erratic and he ended up yelling at a poor woman on the phone for no reason.
Dear Jane: I got my popular colleague fired after reporting his shocking bad behavior, but now everyone else in the office has turned on me.
I approached his desk to ask what had been going on and saw what was obviously some drug paraphernalia placed there next to his computer.
He tried to cover it with his keyboard, but I know exactly what I saw and decided I needed to report it to HR. Which I did. I made a full report on everything I had seen and heard, and in the end they decided that it would be best to terminate their contract, which was admittedly to my relief.
The thing is, no one else in the office was really aware of what was going on, and everyone seems to have taken the view now that I’m some kind of snitch who was after him from the beginning. I feel like everyone has turned against me and I’m getting so tired of the snarky comments and biting whispers that going to the office has become miserable.
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on DailyMail.com readers’ hottest topics in her column Dear Jane, Agony Aunt
I don’t want to risk bringing this situation up with my boss because I don’t want them to have even more ‘proof’ that I’m a gossip, but this whole situation is making my work life unbearable. I know there’s more to life than a job, but the thought of walking away from this great position because of this jerk’s behavior is so frustrating!
Any ideas on how I can get them to stop?
Of,
Cruelty at the water cooler
Dear Water Cooler Cruelty:
It’s hard to be the only warrior for justice, but know that you did absolutely the right thing, even if you now regret it.
Most people don’t do the right thing. They turn their heads in hopes that the bad behavior will stop or that someone else will take care of it instead of them.
It takes real bravery to report, especially when you risk alienating others, and again, I applaud your bravery.
My first piece of advice is to gather your colleagues, or perhaps have a drink after work, and explain to them the reasons why you are reporting it.
Tell them that you stand by your decision, because no one deserves to be talked about behind their back or treated badly. Explain that he has been very happy in his job and that he has always felt blessed to have such excellent colleagues.
If they decide to punish you for reporting your colleague, that’s too bad and there’s nothing you can do about it.
After that Water Cooler, continue with your daily activities as usual.
If they decide to continue whispering and making comments, ignore them. If they continue, know that this has nothing to do with you, but is somehow fueled by drama and gossip.
Keep your head up and this will surely pass.