Dear Jane,
My roommate and I are relatively close. She’s not my best friend, but we watch TV shows, cook together, and often hang out with our friends.
Last weekend, she was on vacation and I decided to invite a group over to our apartment for a few drinks before going to a bar.
But before we left, things got pretty rowdy and everyone was pretty drunk.
One of my friends decided to do a last minute change of clothes and we went into my room so I could lend her my clothes.
Dear Jane: While drunk I did something unforgivable in my roommate’s bed… Do I have to confess?
While she was drunk undressing, she tripped and spilled her full glass of vodka and cranberries all over my white sheets.
It looked like a bloodbath and everything was very sticky. But there was no time to do laundry, so we all left and I planned to clean up the mess when I got home.
Fast forward to the end of the night: I was really drunk and ran into an ex of mine at the bar.
I suggested we go back to my house, completely forgetting about the vodka and cranberry incident.
So when I got home and remembered my bed was still soaked, I had to make a quick decision.
To my shame, I decided not to make my ex wait a few minutes while I changed the sheets and instead quickly took him to my roommate’s room.
You can guess what happened next…
When I woke up the next morning with him next to me, both of us naked, I immediately regretted it.
My roommate is a neat freak and she would be disgusted if she knew what I did.
I was considering washing her sheets, but she has a very specific method for cleaning her bedding and she will notice if I wash the clothes, then she will be suspicious and I will have to explain to her what happened.
He will soon return from vacation and I’m afraid he will realize that someone else has slept in his bed. I am horrified by the thought of allowing him to unknowingly sleep in the bed in which I had sex.
Should I stay quiet and hope she doesn’t notice, or come clean and risk our relationship and her trust in me?
Of,
sex sheets
International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers’ hottest topics in her agony aunt column
Dear sexual sheets,
Do the damn laundry. You can’t possibly leave dirty sheets for your roommate to come home to.
As a general rule, I hate lying. However, here’s a way to avoid giving away the whole story. But you have to tell her something because, believe me, she will know.
The simplest explanation can omit certain details without being false.
Let go of the fact that you slept in bed with someone else and that you were naked (which could very well send her over the edge).
We all do stupid things while we’re drunk, and your roommate may be a neat freak, but she’s also human and surely understands that we’re all fallible.
If you mention that someone else slept in bed with you, their first question will be whether or not you had sex. Instead, just explain that the glass of vodka and cranberries spilled, that you forgot to clean it up, and that you crashed in their room when you came home because you were too drunk to change the bedding.
It might be good to add your favorite flowers or chocolate to your explanation as an extra apology and tell him it won’t happen again.
And honestly, this should No happen again.
I don’t know your age, but I’m guessing you’re in your mid-twenties given the series of mishaps, all caused by alcohol.
So let me give you some advice: if you are old enough to live in an apartment with a roommate, you are old enough to understand that your roommate’s room is private and that you should not have entered it while she was away. was. for any reason.
That was a huge abuse of his trust, with or without the whole ‘sex in his bed’ situation.
Expect her to be upset, make sure you apologize enough, and when you tell her this will never happen again, mean it.
I also want to briefly touch on a throwaway line from your letter about waking up naked next to your ex and instantly feeling regret.
I don’t know if that regret was due to having sex in your roommate’s bed or having sex with an ex. Either way, this situation is a wake-up call for you to examine the repercussions of excessive alcohol consumption.
As fun as these crazy nights may seem in the moment, the consequences (whether casual flings, possibly unprotected sex, or betraying your roommate) can be costly.
It is much better for you to prevent these types of situations from happening before they start.