Before she died, Dame Deborah James gave strict instructions to her devoted husband, Sebastien Bowen: she wanted him to “move on” and find love again in the years ahead.
Now, two years after Deborah’s brave battle with bowel cancer, friends have told MailOnline that her widower finds happiness by diving into the dating scene.
Sources close to Dame Deborah’s husband say he has been on several dates as he tries to rebuild his life following the activist’s death in June 2022, after raising more than £11 million for cancer research through her Bowelbabe fund.
A source close to the couple revealed: “It’s still very early days for Seb, but he’s now dipping his toe back into the dating world.” It’s what Deborah would have wanted, but he’s taking things very slowly and isn’t in a hurry to do anything serious.
‘Deborah is going to be a tough act to follow because they had a fantastic marriage and made a great couple. But Seb feels the time has come to move on as Deborah wanted him to and the rest of the family supports him.’
Another friend said: “He’s been on a few dates but they haven’t led to anything major, although I’m sure some of these women would love to be in a serious relationship with him and are delighted he’s back in the game.”
“We’re happy for him and he’s comfortable with all of this because he knows he has Deborah’s blessings.”
Pictured: Dame Deborah James and her husband Sebastien Bowen on a night out in London to celebrate their 11th wedding anniversary.
Pictured: Dame Deborah with Sebastien, her two children Hugo and Eloise and the Prince of Wales in 2022.
The bowel cancer activist told Sébastien that he should find love again (pictured, the couple together)
Dame Deborah, best known for her BBC radio show You, Me and the Big C, bravely battled aggressive bowel cancer for five years before sadly losing her fight against the disease aged 40.
Before his death, she described Sebastien as a “very eligible bachelor” who was likely to attract a lot of female attention in the future.
She said: ‘I’ve given you strict instructions – I want you to get on with it. He’s a handsome man, I say, ‘Don’t be fooled, don’t marry a fool, find someone else who can make you laugh like we did.’
But she revealed that there were some women in their lives who she was worried would go straight for Sebastien after her death, and she jokingly made a list of their names so he would avoid getting romantically involved with them.
She said: ‘I had a list of girls who I thought, right, they’re going to attack my husband.’
“And then I listed a couple of names and said I would do everything I could to go after him if he got involved with those people, which I thought was absolutely hilarious.”
Sebastien, 45, works as a banker for the private equity firm Pomona Capital. He lives in an elegant house in one of the most exclusive districts of London and is well known in the area.
One local said: ‘Seb is a wonderful man, and everyone knows he was a fantastic and supportive husband to Deborah. It’s no secret that her death affected him greatly, so it’s great that he’s getting his life back. He deserves all the happiness in the world.
Sebastien grew up in London and attended the exclusive St Paul’s School and then went on to study at the University of Edinburgh.
In the photo: Sébastien and Deborah with children Hugo and Eloise during a family vacation.
Pictured: Dame Deborah poses for a photograph in hospital with her mother Heather James
Before his death, Dame Deborah described Sebastien as a “very eligible bachelor” who was likely to attract a lot of female attention in the future.
Pictured: Bowel cancer campaigner Dame Deborah with her mother (centre) and daughter.
The couple met at former London nightclub Café de Paris in 2005 and married in France three years later.
In September 2021 they celebrated 13 years of marriage.
At the time, taking to Instagram to mark their anniversary, Dame Deborah shared a touching video of them dancing together in the south of France and wrote: ’13 years of marriage. My Rock.’
The couple has two children, Hugo, 17, and Eloise, 15.
News of Sebastien’s return will also be welcomed by Dame Deborah’s mother Heather, who said in an interview on the anniversary of her daughter’s death: “We give Seb our blessing.” We want you to move forward when you feel ready.
‘Deborah will be a tough act to follow, but she has our blessing. “Just like Deborah wanted him to move on, we want him to move on.”
Deborah died at her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey, where they cared for her during the final weeks of her life, surrounded by her loved ones, including Sebastien and their two children.
In a BBC interview last year, he spoke about the painful process of watching his wife die.
Sebastien said: ‘It was a very, very difficult moment. “It’s hard to express how difficult it really was.”
The beloved husband, 43, was thrust into the spotlight after his wife, known as Bowel Babe, began campaigning and fundraising to raise awareness of bowel cancer following her own terminal diagnosis.
Dame Deborah died at her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey, where they cared for her during the final weeks of her life (pictured Deborah and her mother).
Sebastien Bowen is the husband of the late Dame Deborah James, who died from bowel cancer last year.
Bowel cancer can cause blood in the stool, a change in bowel habit, a lump inside the intestine that can cause blockages. Some people also experience weight loss as a result of these symptoms.
Sebastien said that Deborah had always “wanted to wait for something” and that she “continued to do so until the end.”
He also spoke candidly that there would be a “peace” in his death.
Sebastien said: “The reality is, it’s hard to say, but I think he probably died in one of the best ways one could have hoped to die with this terrible disease.”
‘She died surrounded by her mother, her father, her sister, me, all of us, holding our hands…being there for her…
“It was all it could be and it’s the first time I’ve seen someone die, but I think there was peace in it.”
“I think I had done everything I hoped to accomplish.”
Dame Deborah was previously vice-principal of Salesian College in Chertsey, Surrey, but following her bowel cancer diagnosis she documented her battle with the disease in a blog called Bowelbabe which launched a career in journalism and made her a social media sensation.
Up to the time of her death, her Bowelbabe fund raised £11.3 million, which has since increased to £16 million.
Prince William made her a Dame in May 2022, just a month before his death.