it is difficult right smile as she unpacks Crave’s latest semi-incognito sex toy, the Tease Ring. The small, textured black box bears the company name on the lid in gold-silver lettering, like a formal invitation to a ball. Inside, the ring rests on a soft felt-textured foam pillow, and on the black background, the Tease gold chrome finish. it shines and shines in the light, promising a luxurious and premium experience.
This is from the same company that makes the eve, a stylish vibrator that also doubles as a daring necklace. That’s why I was excited to try this new sex toy, which sits on your finger, but unfortunately, as I learned during testing, the Tease Ring can’t deliver on its promise of luxury.
A poor joke
The Tease invites you to imagine, selling you on its vibe as much as its vibrations. It conjures up images of flirtatious strangers in neon-drenched nightclubs, leaning in to be heard over the thumping bass. The night is filled with infinite possibilities and carefree, reckless joy. No matter where the night takes you, you’ll have your Tease Ring on your finger, an intimate secret that you openly carry and perhaps share.
Photography: longing
It’s a lovely fantasy. The silicone ring actually came off my finger almost as soon as I put it on, rolling off to places unknown. Fulfilling my destiny as an audacious sexual libertine would have to wait; I was too busy rummaging through the dusty crawlspaces of my apartment. Finally, with the help of a broom, I managed to get the Tease out from under my bed. It was an inauspicious start, but I was hopeful. (There are three sizes to choose from, each covering a few ring sizes. Small, for example, works for anyone with a ring size between 3 and 6.)
Those hopes were dashed once I started testing Tease. It is a product that is constantly in conflict with itself. In its search to be a piece of jewelry and A vibrator is neither. The vibrator is too small and weak to use, and the ring has all the charm of one of those Livestrong bracelets from the early 2000s.
It’s a shame because Crave’s flagship, the eve, is successful in both roles; He is a good vibrator and a nice collar. I’ve even seen it in nature, worn as a bold statement piece, a wink of complicity between queer people in sapphic spaces.
The worst of both worlds
The Tease Ring is simply uncomfortable to use. If you leave it on top of your knuckles while using it, it will feel like you are hitting your partner’s genitals with your fist. Flip it over so the ring is still on your finger but the vibrator is on the palm side of your hand, and it’s a little better. But because of the length of the vibrator, you can’t move the finger it’s on because it acts like a brace and prevents the knuckles on that finger from bending. When you use it like this, it’s hard to use on yourself because it severely limits your manual dexterity, and it’s hard to use on your partner for the same reasons.
It’s also hard to feel sexy when you use this toy. When I had it in the palm of my hand, I couldn’t stop thinking about those hand bell things From Saturday morning cartoons. The kind a birthday clown would secretly use and ask everyone to shake his hand only to surprise them with a nasty shake. Too bad he didn’t have the top hat or dripping boutonniere to complete the look.