In the publishing world, it has become fashionable for books by politicians to have urgent titles that save the world.
Liz Truss chose to title her recent memoir Ten Years to Save the West, rather than the more plausible 45 Days Down the Drain.
Truss clearly looked to America for her title. Recent titles include How to Save America: A Tactical Guide for Practical Patriots; To save America; Saving America: 7 Proven Steps for Great Government Results; 12 Simple Solutions to Save America; etc.
A book by Kristi Noem, the Republican governor of South Dakota, will be published next month.
Its wordy title is a mash-up of all the other titles: There’s No Going Back: The Truth About What’s Wrong in Politics and How We Move America Forward.
Kristi Noem, the Republican governor of South Dakota, has her eye on becoming Donald Trump’s running mate in the US presidential election.
In 2020, Noem gifted the former president a 4-foot model of the presidential monument on Mount Rushmore, with Trump’s own head included.
Noem hopes to be donald trumprunning mate for this year’s US presidential election.
To this end, she has been trying to get his attention for some time: in 2020 she gifted him a 4-foot model of the presidential monument on Mount Rushmore, with Trump’s own head included.
His next book is another step in his campaign for the vice presidency.
On the cover, she poses in front of the American flag, one hand playing with her shiny hair.
The content is intended to appeal to Trump and his supporters. She presents herself as someone who is not afraid to make difficult decisions.
As an example of his willingness to stand firm, he has chosen to describe the day he murdered the family dog.
“Cricket was a wirehaired pointer, about 14 months old,” he recalls.
One day, he took Cricket pheasant hunting with big dogs.
But Cricket was too lively and would become “crazed with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life.”
On the way home, Noem stopped to talk to a local family when Cricket jumped out of her truck and “behaved like a trained killer.” . . Grabbing one chicken at a time, crushing it to death in one bite, and then dropping it to attack another.”
When Noem finally caught Cricket, “he turned around to bite me.” Through it all, Cricket was “the picture of pure joy.”
At that moment Noem decided to stand firm.
“I hated that dog,” he writes.
Cricket was, he thought, “untrainable” and “less than useless… At that moment, I realized I had to put her down.”
Then, gun in hand, he took Cricket to a gravel pit and shot her to death. “It wasn’t a pleasant job, but it had to be done.”
But it didn’t end there: “When it was over, I realized there was another unpleasant job to do.”
Liz Truss chose to title her recent memoir Ten Years to Save the West, rather than the more plausible 45 Days Down the Drain.
Eek! Her attention was now focused on a family goat with a “nasty and mean” personality.
The poor goat not only smelled “disgusting, musky, rancid,” but he enjoyed chasing after Noem’s children, knocking them down and ruining their clothes.
To the rest of us, this might seem like normal goat behavior.
It’s a rare billy goat who takes the trouble to rub himself with Old Spice or Lynx before playing cat’s cradle with the kids.
But Noem was hell-bent on revenge. She “dragged him into a gravel pit,” pulled out her gun and shot him.
But the thoughtless goat jumped to the side and escaped injury. Noem had to return to her truck to take another bullet.
He then “rushed back to the gravel and left it on the ground.”
When her daughter Kennedy came home from school, she “looked around confused” and asked plaintively, “Hey, where’s Cricket?”
It is not yet known whether these deadly revelations have made Governor Noem more or less attractive to Trump.
But Noem is unrepentant, and even brags about having committed another massacre. ‘We love animals, but difficult decisions like this happen all the time on a farm.
“Unfortunately, a few weeks ago we had to put down three horses that had been in our family for 25 years.”
In light of her dog’s death, perhaps Governor Noem should change the name of her book No Going Bark.
And what about our own Liz Truss, who is also busy sucking up to Trump? How far is she willing to go?
If I were Larry, the Downing Street cat, I would disappear.
