Incarcerated Australians have shared their most embarrassing moments from the latest lockdown on an online forum illustrating the Covid fatigue that grips the country.
The confessions, made in a Reddit thread, were read live on KIIS 106.5 FM’s Kyle and Jackie O Show by co-hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie ‘O’ Henderson.
The grind of being housebound, except for four reasons—buying food or other necessities, giving or receiving medical care, exercising, and working when you can’t do it at home—was immediately apparent.
A woman who lives with her boyfriend said they “sexed” each other from across the couch because they didn’t feel like having physical sex.
A second admitted to blending sold food in smoothie form to eliminate the hassle of chewing.
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A third said she sleeps in her spare bedroom to avoid washing the sheets, while a fourth admitted to drinking straight from soda bottles and milk cartons to reduce dishes.
A man said he started watching the popular Netflix series Narcos, but fell asleep after four episodes.
He said he woke up to find that the entire series had been played on TV — over 24 hours of watching in total.
A caller to the Kyle and Jackie O Show said his motivation for life is so low that he presses the same number on the microwave instead of moving his finger across the keyboard.
“If you have something in the microwave, say three and a half minutes, I just say ‘333’ instead of moving my finger to zero,” he explained.
One woman admitted to blending sold food into smoothie form to eliminate the effort of chewing (left), while another said they slept on the couch for 24 hours (right)
Another call revealed that he stopped showering and brushing his teeth “about a week and a half ago.”
Kyle supported the man and said he hadn’t done anything all weekend.
“That’s disgusting,” Jackie said, but Kyle insisted, “I feel great.”
A Melbourne woman admitted to using her 13-year-old son as a slave.
“I’ll have him go to the fridge to get me a drink or something I just can’t be bothered to get out of bed for,” she said.
One person confessed to drinking straight from soda bottles and milk cartons to cut down on plates (stock image)
Last week, the beleaguered Aussies shared their lowest points of lockdown in response to an appeal posted by makeup artist turned reality TV star Martha Kalifatidis.
The 32-year-old, who has been holed up in her Bondi apartment with boyfriend Michael Brunelli since Sydney went into lockdown on June 26, begged viewers to share their most embarrassing confessions.
Martha kicked off by admitting that she hadn’t showered or walked more than 50 steps that day.
“Tell us we’re not alone,” she captioned a video in which Michael unpacked his takeaway food next to empty water bottles and a tray of nail polish and nail polish remover.
Just like the rest of us: Reality TV star Martha Kalifatidis (pictured) said she struggles to get dressed, wash her face and walk more than 50 steps a day during the lockdown
In response to an appeal posted by the 32-year-old star, Australians shared their lowest points of lockdown in a thread exposing the beleaguered mental state of 14 million people nationwide
Another said they had surrendered to a uniform of worn-out clothes to take the dog for a walk
She continued: ‘If we don’t laugh, we’re going to cry, so tell us your worst confessions. For example, I haven’t showered, washed my face, or walked more than 50 steps today.”
Candid revelations poured in, with one person confessing to wearing the same clothes every day for a week to walk his dog.
A second said they put a chair in the shower so they could wash while sitting after they had “get so used to lying on the lounge.”
Another admitted to ordering takeaway food three nights in a row, with many saying they were on a diet of “coffee, wine and cheese.”
“Even if I think I’m full from the food, I eat more,” was a particularly recognizable response.
Many seem to have trouble finding the energy to wash themselves
Those who muster the strength to leave the house for government-imposed drills seem to regret doing so almost immediately
A poll that Martha posted in response to this answer found that 97 percent felt exactly the same.
One person said they once fell asleep with a bag of M&Ms under their pillow, woke up and immediately started eating again.
Others said they had trouble getting out of bed in the first place.
“Stayed in bed all day, got up, took a shower and put my pajamas back on, and went to Coles in my pajamas,” one wrote.
“I didn’t brush my teeth until 1:00 PM,” said a second, while a third added, “I do my morning grooming routine at 3:00 PM.”