New York inspires some unusual sleeping situations, but one couple has resorted to not even staying in the same bed, opting instead for queen-sized bunk beds, and they swear they’ve never been happier.
Casey and Andy, who have been married for five years, regularly share things on TikTok about their sleeping situation, encouraging others to try separate beds.
One of the main questions they receive is about how they maintain intimacy while sleeping in different beds.
“People seem to think that since we don’t like to physically sleep next to each other, we should just never touch or hug each other during our marriage,” she shared.
“Contrary to popular opinion online, my husband and I hug each other almost every night and every morning, if one of us isn’t rushing off to work; most of our afternoons are spent in bed, falling asleep, watching a show together,” he added.
New York inspires some unusual sleeping situations, but one couple has resorted to not even staying in the same bed (file image)
However, the content creator then shared the obvious difference between bed-sharing couples and them.
“After we’ve been lying together and cuddling for X amount of time, I go up to my bunk and go to sleep with my cat,” she gushed.
He added that in the morning they will check if the other person is awake and go to their bed to hug them.
“It’s a wonderful way to start the day,” he gushed. “That doesn’t mean they’re not literally touching each other.”
According to Casey, just because they don’t share the same bed doesn’t mean they don’t touch each other, they just need to make a more concentrated effort.
“Then at the end of the day, once we are done receiving each other’s hugs, we are ready to head to our own personal space to get a good night’s sleep for our mental and physical health,” she stated.
In another video, Casey said one of the main comments they get was asking how they can sleep without skin-to-skin contact.
“Being hot while I sleep is literally Andy and I’s worst nightmare,” she said in a video posted to TikTok.
Casey insists it doesn’t affect their intimacy, adding that in the morning they will check to see if the other person is awake and go to their bed to hug them (file image).
Users shared their views on the couple’s situation in bed: some agreed and others strongly opposed.
Users were divided on whether or not different beds indicate a healthy relationship.
“The cornerstone of a healthy relationship is not sleeping apart, nor sleeping next to each other, but communicating and doing what is best for the relationship, regardless of what others think,” argued one user.
‘I’m a light sleeper and I have insomnia. My husband snores loudly. Separate bedrooms have saved our marriage, my sanity, and his life!’ shared another bunk bed enthusiast.
“King size bed with separate blankets,” another person stated. ‘It works great for us. Whatever works for your relationship is the best option. I have separation problems, so I check while I sleep if my husband is there.’
“I suggested we get separate blankets, on the same bed just our own blankets, and my husband looked at me like I told him I was having an affair…” someone else wrote.
‘I don’t know…the separate quilts do it for me. I think it depends on the person. Don’t you wake up and want to get closer to the person you love? he questioned someone else.
Couples sleeping in separate beds – or a “sleep divorce” – is not uncommon, and many couples admit to purchasing two beds.
Many people claimed that their partner interrupted their sleep with his snoring or kicking, others blamed different schedules or insomnia, while some social media users admitted that they simply needed their own space.
A 2023 survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that more than a third of American couples sleep in separate rooms occasionally or constantly.
“We know that poor sleep can worsen mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners,” Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and AASM spokesperson, said of the study.
