Complaining Is GOOD! A Study Reveals That Venting To A Friend About Your Frustrations Can Make Them Like You More And Treat You Better

It may seem naughty, but complaining about a friend can make other friends like you more, according to a study.

Experts have found that venting to one friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to win their affection.

However, it is recommended not to be aggressive, as getting angry or belittling the “target” friend can make one look worse.

Psychologists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) asked participants to listen to recordings of a fictional friend venting, gossiping or belittling a mutual friend who had cancelled on them at the last minute.

Participants were then asked to rate their feelings about the speaker and the target friend on an 11-point sliding scale.

It may seem rude, but complaining about a friend can make other friends like you more, according to a study (file image)

The analysis revealed that participants who listened to the speaker vent about a friend who had unsubscribed from them liked the speaker more than the person they were talking to.

However, this did not happen when speakers belittled the target or shared gossip.

In another experiment, venting backfired when researchers suggested that the person venting was secretly a rival of the friend in question.

In these cases, participants no longer liked that person more than the target.

The results show that venting makes the speaker more likable only when listeners do not perceive the speaker as having any aggressive intent toward the target, the researchers said.

Therefore, venting can be an effective competitive tool to win a friend’s affection, precisely because it is not recognized as a competitive tool.

Lead author Jaimie Krems said: ‘We didn’t have a good explanation for what ventilation does for us.

Experts have found that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to win their affection (file image)

‘So we tested a novel insight: Under certain parameters, venting may make the people we vent to more supportive of us than those we vent against.

‘While people readily admit that we compete for the limited time and affection of their romantic partners, they seem less willing to admit that we compete for friends.

“But if being relatively more well-liked means receiving greater support from friends, then we should expect some competition among friends, whether we like it or not.”

The benefits of being relatively more well-liked by friends may include receiving preferential treatment, they added.

For example, having friends is linked to better health, well-being and longevity.

Previous studies have suggested that women who gossip about others are motivated by jealousy and low self-esteem.

Researchers found that women were more likely to report higher levels of romantic jealousy if a “target” woman was considered attractive.

This, in turn, was linked to greater chances of gossiping about it.

The new findings were published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.

DO MEN GOSSIP AS MUCH AS WOMEN?

A recent and shocking study revealed that men gossip as much as women.

And far from behaving like gentlemen, they are more likely than their female counterparts to complain about their coworkers.

Researchers surveyed more than 2,200 people about their gossip habits and found that men and women are equally likely to share gossip in the office.

But while women tend to speak in support of their colleagues, men try to discredit their rivals.

The researchers suggested that gossip gave women a way to compete in a non-physically threatening way, while it helped men build self-confidence.

The study, published in March and conducted by Ariel University in Israel, asked participants to imagine describing a person they had just met to a friend and analyzed the responses.

The authors concluded: ‘Our findings suggest that women and men engage in the same amount of gossip activity, which weakens common and hateful stereotypes.

‘The results indicated a statistically significant difference between genders, confirming that women’s gossip is coded more positively than men’s.’

Complaining is GOOD! A study reveals that venting to a friend about your frustrations can make them like you more and treat you better

DO MEN GOSSIP AS MUCH AS WOMEN?

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