- Venting to a friend about another friend can help win their affection.
- But being angry can make you look worse.
It may seem naughty, but complaining about a friend can make other friends like you more, according to a study.
Experts have found that venting to one friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to win their affection.
However, it is recommended not to be aggressive, as getting angry or belittling the “target” friend can make one look worse.
Psychologists at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) asked participants to listen to recordings of a fictional friend venting, gossiping or belittling a mutual friend who had cancelled on them at the last minute.
Participants were then asked to rate their feelings about the speaker and the target friend on an 11-point sliding scale.
It may seem rude, but complaining about a friend can make other friends like you more, according to a study (file image)
The analysis revealed that participants who listened to the speaker vent about a friend who had unsubscribed from them liked the speaker more than the person they were talking to.
However, this did not happen when speakers belittled the target or shared gossip.
In another experiment, venting backfired when researchers suggested that the person venting was secretly a rival of the friend in question.
In these cases, participants no longer liked that person more than the target.
The results show that venting makes the speaker more likable only when listeners do not perceive the speaker as having any aggressive intent toward the target, the researchers said.
Therefore, venting can be an effective competitive tool to win a friend’s affection, precisely because it is not recognized as a competitive tool.
Lead author Jaimie Krems said: ‘We didn’t have a good explanation for what ventilation does for us.
![Complaining is GOOD! A study reveals that venting to a friend about your frustrations can make them like you more and treat you better 7 Experts have found that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to win their affection (file image)](https://whatsnew2day.com/wp-content/uploads/cwv-webp-images/2024/08/1723745880_452_Complaining-is-GOOD-A-study-reveals-that-venting-to-a.jpg.webp)
Experts have found that venting to a friend about another friend can be an effective competitive tool to win their affection (file image)
‘So we tested a novel insight: Under certain parameters, venting may make the people we vent to more supportive of us than those we vent against.
‘While people readily admit that we compete for the limited time and affection of their romantic partners, they seem less willing to admit that we compete for friends.
“But if being relatively more well-liked means receiving greater support from friends, then we should expect some competition among friends, whether we like it or not.”
The benefits of being relatively more well-liked by friends may include receiving preferential treatment, they added.
For example, having friends is linked to better health, well-being and longevity.
Previous studies have suggested that women who gossip about others are motivated by jealousy and low self-esteem.
Researchers found that women were more likely to report higher levels of romantic jealousy if a “target” woman was considered attractive.
This, in turn, was linked to greater chances of gossiping about it.
The new findings were published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour.