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It was the night before Christmas Eve 1990. My mother seemed surprised when she answered the call. ‘Tomorrow? Yes, we will be there…’ It was a phone call that would change our lives.
At the time, my mother was a foster carer and took in children who had been temporarily or permanently separated from their families. Day or night, a call could come from social services. My heroic mother, a single mother, would take in two or three more children in addition to her four children.
It wasn’t a big surprise for me to come home from school and find another little person on the couch watching Button Moon. But there was something quite exciting about this call.
Most of the children who came to stay were my age, nine or older, but the Christmas phone call concerned a girl who was a few days old. A real life doll! Her name: Molly.
The next day, Mum and I headed to a London hospital to pick her up. I vividly remember holding the sleeping little creature on my lap on the car ride home (when presumably baby seats were no such thing), marveling at her long eyelashes.
At home, my three older brothers and I fought over who would hold the baby, who would change him, and who would bathe him. Since it was Christmas, we couldn’t get last-minute supplies for her, so like baby Jesus, Molly had “no crib for a bed,” just blankets in a cardboard box.
Christmas turned into New Year’s and Molly grew up, smiled, developed a sassy personality and a mass of blonde curls that earned her the name ‘Scrambled Eggs’. First teeth, first steps, first word… By now we had all fallen madly in love with her.
We began the process to adopt and, in 1993, we all traveled to the High Court in London to find out if she was officially ours. Fortunately, this girl was for life, not just for Christmas.
British singer Joss Stone, 37, smiles at her newly adopted son with her husband, musician Cody DaLuz. The baby has been named Bear
I have been very grateful in the 34 years since that call in 1990. Molly – or ‘Molusc’, as I call her – is one of a kind: kind, quirky and fun. Adoption has not only blessed our family, it has made it.
And so it was with warm and fuzzy feelings that I saw photos of British singer Joss Stone with her newly adopted son.
In a video of her and her husband, musician Cody DaLuz, looking at their newborn son, Stone, 37, wrote: “This is what happened to us last Monday. We can’t quite believe it. We are so in love with this little one.”
The baby, who has been named Bear, appears tiny; the photographs were taken in a hospital room. Stone explains that “the reason Cody exists is because his birth mother loved him enough to make an adoption plan for him and the same goes for Bear.” One could assume that they picked up their son from birth.
Bravo, Joss! Judging by the way he looks at his baby and the video of his older children, Violet and Shackleton, meeting their new brother, Bear is very lucky.
But while the heart floods with warmth at these images, a chill arises when one remembers the children who were not so lucky; children who will wait this Christmas – again – for their ‘forever family’.
In recent years, the number of adoptions has fallen from a high of 5,360 in 2015 to just 2,980 today. Last year, the number of children in England waiting to be placed with a family increased by 22 per cent. The average time it takes to be adopted is two years and five months, a big chunk of a young child’s life. And unfortunately, the older children get, the more difficult it is to locate them.
There are several explanations for the delays. Two court rulings from 2013 stated that adoption orders (which sever ties with birth parents) should only be granted when “nothing else will do” and when all other options (such as placing children with an extended family) have been explored. . This sent the unhelpful message to social services across the country that adoption was going to be a last resort. And guess what? The adoption orders fell like a stone.
Meanwhile, over the past decade, the number of families approved as intended parents has decreased by 60 percent.
Maybe it’s the high cost of living that makes the thought of paying for someone else daunting. Or maybe it’s the notoriously strict screening process that people must go through, which can include inspections, questions about your relationship, requests to volunteer with children, requests to lose weight.
Of course, there are no quick fixes. But since every month of a child’s life will influence their development (for better or worse), it’s essential to think about speeding up the adoption process.
Why should adoption be a “last resort” when children live in neglectful or abusive homes? Is it fair to ask those who want to be parents to lose weight or give up e-cigarettes? Are some city councils still looking for a “perfect match” for the children in terms of race and age of their future family?
Reforming the adoption process may not be the most important issue on the Government’s agenda, but for the thousands of children waiting for their ‘forever family’ and the desperate couples who want one, it is the most important thing in the world.
Now that’s dressing up in December!
Behold, Michelin woman! Ellie Goulding’s sleeping bag dress might have made the fashion team murmur at this week’s Fashion Awards, but it made me clap. Finally, someone on a red carpet dressed like it was December. Who knows, maybe it will inspire young women going out this weekend to wear something other than the floss dresses they usually brave the cold in.
Ellie Goulding’s sleeping bag dress, worn at the London Fashion Awards, bears a striking resemblance to a certain Michelin Man…
Some MPs are calling for more “family” hours in Parliament, with the House of Commons meeting just six hours a day. Oh please. Don’t you realize that this is not just any job? Having sufficient time to debate legislation is vital to the functioning of our nation. If they cannot achieve the commitment that the job requires, they should not have stood for election.
That ‘magical’ time of year is back…the launch of Christmas snacks. There’s a reason they don’t sell these disgusting concoctions all year round. Avoid at all costs.
What I have in common with Elton
Sir Elton John has revealed that a serious eye infection prevents him from reading his own lyrics, let alone writing new songs.
Is there a better holiday song than Step Into Christmas? What joy Sir Elton John has brought us, and how sad to know that he has lost his sight due to a serious eye infection.
I had one done a decade ago, which caused me weeks of pain and required eye drops every hour before I thankfully regained my full sight. Mine happened because I left my contact lenses in overnight. Always, always remove your contact lenses before bathing, swimming or sleeping.
The public health announcement ends here.
So could Meghan say goodbye?
After a long and exhaustive search to find the perfect CEO for her American Riviera Orchard brand, the Duchess of Sussex has chosen… herself! I wonder how he will get along with me, with me, and with me around the boardroom table. Knowing La Sussex’s history with staff, I’m giving her a month before she’s fired over creative differences.