A mother-of-three has revealed how cancer devastated her body before she had any noticeable symptoms, prompting her to change her way of life forever.
Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in May 2022. She was only 36 years old.
Until that moment, the young woman had done nothing but strive to excel in a life that met society’s expectations.
She worked hard. She had a stellar career. She helped her husband Reece with the family construction business. And she saved money to start a family and buy a house.
“I did everything right, like you’re supposed to do,” he told FEMAIL.
A mother-of-three has revealed how cancer had devastated her body before she had any noticeable symptoms, prompting her to change her way of life forever.
But as she endured months of harrowing chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, reconstruction surgery and recovery, she realized the one thing she had always forgotten to do.
Live.
Now his family of five is on the road traveling around Australia.
“We have taken 12 months off, we have put the business on pause and we are having the best time,” he said.
‘I’m glad I realized I had to live before it was too late. Even if that message was delivered in a very harsh way.
“Unfortunately, it takes that kind of trauma to put life into perspective.”
Kate was in the bathroom with her three-year-old son when she felt a small pea-sized lump under her arm while washing.
Kate Middlemiss was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in May 2022. She was only 36 years old.
‘I’m glad I realized I had to live before it was too late. Even if that message was conveyed in a very harsh way,” he said
‘It was hard and not like a marble, but rather oddly shaped like a pebble. It also had roots. So I’d like to pick it up and move it, but the root connected it somewhere lower,” he said.
The mother of three’s heart sank as soon as she felt the lump.
‘I just knew it was bad. “I yelled at my husband, who ran into the bathroom,” she said.
Kate’s grandmother died of breast cancer, so even though she tested negative for the breast cancer gene, she had always been vigilant.
The next day she called her primary care doctor, who immediately sent her for an MRI, CT scan, and mammogram.
Within 24 hours he received a call from his doctor and was told that “he doesn’t look good.”
His family is traveling through Australia.
She was referred to a breast specialist, who sent her for a biopsy that revealed the name of the breast cancer, one of the most aggressive and difficult to treat of all.
“The idea of death never crossed my mind. “I have three children, I’m too busy to die and they need me,” she said.
The next few months were a blur of endless appointments, chemotherapy, and surgery.
“I told my husband he was out of luck: I loved my long hair and my breasts, and the treatment involved getting rid of both,” she laughed.
But Kate struggled with hair loss.
“My hair was my identity, which sounds silly now,” she said.
The family kept all the conversations at home real.
‘My son, who is now 11, asked me if he was going to die when I told him I had cancer. I said no and he said, “Okay, then let’s do what we have to do,” he said.
She said the cancer diagnosis forced her to change course and ‘live’
Her cheeky three-year-old daughter didn’t understand the diagnosis, but she loved the day of chemotherapy.
‘He would say that mom is going to get her superhero medicine today. And then when he came home, we’d see if it worked, he’d ask me if he could fly and we’d jump off the couch to see him,” he said.
Kate is not one to take shortcuts, so she followed all of her doctors’ recommendations, including radical therapies and a double mastectomy. She also undergoes scans every 12 months to make sure she is still cancer-free.
Kate said the cancer came at a “cruel” time.
‘I had just started to reclaim my identity after having children. A year before I was diagnosed with cancer, I had even undergone weight loss surgery,” she said.
She had quit her corporate job and started working online with a beauty brand. monat.
‘I felt very good about my work and about helping other women feel empowered. Then I lost my hair and I thought how can I sell these products without hair,” she said.
Kate wants all women, young and old, to check their breasts for lumps; She says she’s still here with her family because she found hers early.
But instead of rejection from the community he had developed, he found immense support.
“It gave me a purpose and something to focus on instead of chemo,” she said.
She ended up scoring goals and becoming a prominent marketer while undergoing chemotherapy, winning an Asia Pacific award for her work just a month after finishing treatment.
She is still working online, funding her family’s all-Australian adventure.
‘We have changed course. My husband walked away from his business when I was sick. We have now put it on hold to travel. He’ll be there when we get back. “We want to make the most of life for now,” she stated.
You want to make sure you live adequately while you have the chance.
‘The recurrence weighs on my mind: I try to keep a positive attitude but I don’t know how to eliminate that fear. Although I have done everything possible to prevent it from returning,” he stated.
‘My husband just calms me down. He says “honey, if he comes back we’ll take care of it” so we’re making the most of what we’ve built in the meantime.
Kate wants all women, young and old, to check their breasts for lumps.
Kate will be considered “all healthy” once she passes her five-year post-op cancer-free anniversary.
‘If you feel something, get it analyzed. I’m here because I acted on it immediately. “If I had chalked it up to having kids or blocked ducts, maybe I wouldn’t have made it,” he said.
‘Early detection is everything. If it’s nothing and you’ve had it checked, then fine, but it might be nothing.’
He added that “by the time one presents symptoms” of one of the most aggressive forms of cancer, it is “too late.”
He also wants people to be open and honest with their feelings.
‘I didn’t know how many people cared about me or loved me until I was diagnosed. “People would let me know that I’ve changed their lives or made them brighter,” she said.
“We shouldn’t wait until people get sick or until funerals to say these nice things.”
Kate will be considered “all healthy” once she passes her five-year post-op cancer-free anniversary.