It’s pouring rain, the wind is howling, and the thermostat hasn’t seemed so welcoming since the big freeze in February. But even though July seems to be gone, there’s no doubt that hot boy summer is here.
For those who aren’t regular social media users, let me explain: “Hot Boy Summer” is a masculine aesthetic seen on Instagram and Tik Tok that basically involves a lot of bare, oiled-up torsos. But it’s also a much broader trend, as seen in the first trailer for Gladiator 2, released to great fanfare earlier this week.
I saw it, for research purposes of course, and I can say that it’s three minutes and ten seconds of pure testosterone: rippling muscles covered in sweat and dirt, Denzel Washington delivering furious monologues about rage while Paul Mescal fights a giant rhinoceros and Pedro Pascal single-handedly takes out an army of men who make Russell Crowe look like Mr. Bean.
Theo James, 39, lies on a boat in just a pair of white Speedos, looking like it’s a Sunday afternoon, on top of a model apparently dating Leonardo DiCaprio.
And if this wasn’t enough to raise the temperature, Pascal proceeded to post a behind-the-scenes shot on social media, which showed his co-star Mescal wearing nothing but a loincloth and a look of intense manliness, one that read: “I just ripped Connell out of Normal People’s head and put him on the end of a stick which I will now use to menacingly wave at any guy who dares to express emotion in public. Grrrr!”
Then there were the photos of British actor Theo James. The ones from the ultimate hot-guy summer. Do I need to describe them? Well, I will, but again, this is purely for journalistic purposes. In these photos, James, 39, is lying on an inflatable boat in just a pair of white Speedos – as one does on a Sunday afternoon – on top of a model apparently dating Leonardo DiCaprio.
The photos, which were taken in Capri, were for a Dolce & Gabbana advertisement, though it’s unclear what the fashion designers were advertising, given that no one in the images appears to be wearing any clothes.
Anyway, the photos have caused quite a stir.
“Poor wife!” the entire Internet cried in unison, referring to Ruth Kearney, who is also the mother of James’ two children.
“Poor Leo!” I thought for the first time in the story, because it’s not Kearney I feel sorry for…
Paul Mescal wearing nothing but a loincloth and a look of intense manliness
Forget Ryan Gosling’s hilarious portrayal of Ken in last summer’s Barbie movie. In these photos, James is beating the crap out of GI Joe. It’s the male equivalent of that 1994 Eva Herzigova Wonderbra ad: “Hey girls!” instead of “Hey boys!”
I looked at photos of the actor from the hit Netflix series White Lotus and Guy Ritchie’s TV series The Gentlemen, and I was uncomfortable with the reaction it elicited from me, which was something like, “PHWOARRR, SO COOL!” He was basically whistling like a white van man from the 1980s. I had become all the guys I’d complained about in my teens, 20s, and 30s — all the men who’d reduced me to a pair of breasts and a butt.
This isn’t the first time this year that an ad has made me wonder about our willingness to objectify men in ways we (rightly) wouldn’t tolerate with women.
In January, The Bear star Jeremy Allen White broke the Internet when he appeared topless in a Calvin Klein commercial.
At the same time, the Advertising Standards Authority banned another advert from the same designers, featuring singer FKA Twigs. The ASA said the singer’s Calvin Klein advert focused on “her body rather than the clothes being advertised” and that the image was “irresponsible and likely to cause serious offence”. All of which was rather odd considering that, at the time, Allen White’s crotch had been plastered by the same designer on buses and billboards around the world without any complaints.
Of course, some might argue that Hot Boy Summer is a welcome change after years and years of Hot Girl Summers (the phrase was coined by rapper Megan Thee Stallion in 2019, but it’s been around since the dawn of time). In reality, I’d argue that it’s simply a distraction from them, and a sign that, if anything, the ridiculous pressure to have a “beach-ready body” has gotten worse rather than better.
The body positivity movement has shrunk dramatically over the past year, with figures like Ozempic and Wegovy killing the public’s appetite for any model approaching a plus size. Any hope that we were at the dawn of a new era, where a variety of shapes and sizes were celebrated in popular culture, has faded faster than Theo James’ clothes. Now, it’s not just women who must diet and exercise to achieve a more acceptable summer body, but men too.
This is not equality, in any meaningful sense. Suffragettes didn’t throw themselves under horses so we could drool over pictures of Paul Mescal fighting rhinos. Our grandmothers didn’t burn their bras so we could stare at the guy from White Lotus in trousers.
Theo James in tight underwear. The photos, which were taken in Capri, were for a Dolce & Gabbana ad, although it doesn’t seem clear what the fashion designers were advertising, given that no one in the images appears to be wearing any clothes.
Hot Boy Summer is not progress; in fact, it’s positively regressive. It looks like something out of an Athena poster shop in 1988, and like that “Man and Baby” poster that was supposed to be a picture of a sensitive new father but turned out to be a male model bragging about sleeping with 3,000 women, it’s a gimmick presented as a gift. Because here’s the thing: As long as fashion designers and Hollywood continue to encourage people to objectify men, we women will be less able to complain when they do it to us. And they will, inevitably.
So excuse me if I refuse to embrace this hot guy summer and instead head straight into cool girl winter. You might want to join me, given the weather.
After all the fuss about the introduction of the sugar tax six years ago, we now know that it has worked: sugar consumption among children has been cut by half and among adults by a third. Which is quite a lot. Can we do the same with ultra-processed foods and use the money to make fresh food more affordable and cooking at home with the family more appealing?
A new study published in Time magazine has found that tampons used by millions of women contain toxic metals such as lead, cadmium and arsenic. Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, found that worryingly, even “organic” tampons contained chemicals linked to dementia, infertility, diabetes and cancer, but said further research was needed to see if any of the metals contributed to the negative health effects on women.
So tampons are not only bad for the environment, they’re potentially bad for us, and yet no one has come up with anything better because… well, we’re women, so why bother? And yet, if men had periods, you know there would be a show hosted by Jeremy Clarkson where he and his colleagues would test out the latest in menstrual technology, the best of which would not be cotton wool tied to a string at all, soaked in arsenic.
Take it home like our fabulous Lionesses!
What a joy that the England men’s team have reached the final of the European Championship! Let’s hope they “bring the title home” – just like the Lionesses did two years ago!
Trusted clinic
A sequel to The Devil Wears Prada is in the works, with Meryl Streep and Emily Blunt apparently already signed on. I often go into difficult meetings trying to channel the cool self-assurance of Streep’s character Miranda Priestley. “Everyone wants to be like us!” is her motto, and when I feel imposter syndrome creeping in, I try to make it my own.