There’s only one medal table that counts for the Australians, and it’s this revisited look at the results from the Paris 2024 Olympics that has left much of the world stunned – and the United States furious.
Australia has shocked the world by taking third place in the current Olympic medal table, thanks to a record 18 Olympic gold medals and counting.
Now Channel 9 has revealed that if the gold medals were weighted by population, Australia would be the favourites.
Hosts Karl Stefanovic and Sarah Abo unveiled a new system for counting Olympic medals based on population per capita. The fewer people there are behind each gold medal, the higher the ranking.
And with our modest population of 26 million, Australia outstrips powerhouses like China and the United States.
“These are the top three countries in the normal medal table, but it is actually this medal table that counts,” Abo said.
“Yes it is,” Stefanovic confirmed.
“Yes, right? Australia has one gold medal for every 1.44 million people, unlike the United States,” Abo replied.
“Who has one gold medal for every 12.3 million people and China…” Stevanovic added.
“One gold coin for every 56 million people. What do you think?” Abo said.
Channel 9’s chart shows Australia would come in first place if the Paris 2024 Olympic medal tally was weighted by population.
Australia has been led by our swimmers including Lani Pallister, Brianna Throssell, Ariarne Titmus and Mollie O’Callaghan (pictured left to right)
Australia normally falls in the second week, but athletes such as Nina Kennedy have prevented that from happening with gold medals in athletics as well.
Now other countries are starting to take note too: Britain’s Daniel Olaniran, known online as ‘OlanTekkers’, is the internet’s favourite failed footballer and has posted a video for his audience of almost 500,000 people.
“Is this the current Olympic medal table, Australians?” he mused.
‘Australian, Australian, Australian, ranking fourth for a population of 26 million.
‘Yes, we know that half of the medals are in swimming, that’s fine.
‘Just look at the populations of countries that currently outnumber Australia.
“We have China, 1.4 billion people. What the fuck? The United States and France.
‘Now Australia only has 26 million people and you’re telling me you’re breeding athletes like this?
“We have to see what’s in the water.”
Oliver Bleddyn, Sam Welsford, Conor Leahy and Kelland O’Brien snapped a 20-year losing streak to claim another historic gold for Australia
Australian TikTok users were quick to point out that the popularity of swimming in our country has translated into huge success at the Paris pool.
“Because for some strange reason in Australia, from the ages of 7 to 12 it was normal to swim 20 or 30 laps in a 50m pool every day after school for fun,” one posted.
“We have to teach swimming classes for six years of primary school, plus swimming carnivals every year,” recalled another.
“We have a great sports culture in general and we all learn to swim at an early age as a self-protection measure,” posted another.
Needless to say, American TikTok users were not impressed.
The official U.S. Olympic network NBC has been repeatedly criticized for favoring overall medals for its ranking, rather than the universal convention of valuing gold medals only for ranking, and using lesser medals to decide playoff games.
Keegan Palmer could have qualified for the United States, but he chose the country where he learned to skate to win back-to-back skateboarding gold medals.
Now American fans are accusing the Australians of manipulating the result for their own benefit as well.
“Australians used to shout from the rooftops that all that mattered was how many gold medals you had. Now all of a sudden there are caveats and (added value) for something that isn’t most gold medals,” fumed one.
“Wait, does Australia not know how math works? If you calculate it on a per capita basis, Australia should have nine times more medals than the US. So if you apply the ‘per capita’ logic, Australia is still behind the US,” concluded another US fan.
“Per capita Olympics are a solution,” posted another.
However, there was one thing everyone agreed on: what exactly is in Australia’s water.
“What’s in the water? Sharks, crocodiles, blue-ringed octopuses, rays, jellyfish, etc., etc., etc.”