British expat rages on Melbourne after just three months: ‘Here are the things I hate about the city’
- Ralph Smith listed the five things he hates about Melbourne
- Homeless crackheads and the transport system in the top 5
According to a young British expat, homeless crackheads and a “poorly put together” public transport system are just two of the most “infuriating” things about Melbourne.
Ralph Smith made scathing remarks about the city in a controversial TikTok clip that has been seen by over a million people.
The young Brit who has lived in Melbourne for three months began the video by explaining that he loves the city but finds some things super “frustrating”.
His biggest gripe seemed to be with the city’s public buses, trams and trains.
“I have never seen such a badly put together system,” he snapped.
A key issue for the young traveler seems to be the Myki cards – which are used to pay for travel.
‘The only way to get around the city is with Myki cards. That’s if you’re on a train, tram or bus. But if you forget that card, you’re literally screwed,” he complained.
He described the cards as “useless” and said he preferred to use his phone or bank card as commuters in Sydney and London do.
“You can’t add it to your phone, so if you’re on an iPhone, you can’t add that phone to your wallet to turn it on and off,” he added.
“If someone who doesn’t have a wallet has to carry it everywhere and then forget about it, you can’t get on a tram or a train. It is very frustrating.
His next complaint is closely related.
Ralph Smith made scathing remarks about the city in a controversial TikTok clip that has been seen by over a million people
Ralph hates crossing the road at red lights or driving his car in heavy traffic.
“Trying to get from corner to corner can take five minutes,” he said.
‘I am not joking. These lights never change.
He said it was the same while driving.
“I feel like you’re always sitting in traffic, like no matter where you are, the lights take ages to change and it’s so frustrating.”
The third thing Ralph mentioned is the lack of housing in the city.
‘If you are currently looking for Melbourne accommodation to rent or buy, it seems impossible. As soon as the place is listed in a day it seems to be taken and already sold.
The fourth is the weather – he hates that he has to be prepared for the day to change in an instant.
“You can be in the sun with a T-shirt on and the next second it’s stormy and it’s changing like that all day. You never really know what to wear or what to put on and it’s really frustrating.
Crackheads seemed to be the last item on Ralph’s ‘things I hate about Melbourne’ list.
“I’ve never seen so many homeless people slicing crackheads in such a small area,” he said.

The young Brit who has lived in Melbourne for three months started the video by explaining that he loves the city but finds some things super ‘frustrating’
“The road between Flinders Street Station and I think Collins Street is full of homeless people and crackheads. People are banging on the walls and shouting out loud.
He added that he did not feel safe walking past the homeless community.
“I was walking with a friend and a homeless guy came over and started yelling in my face when he’s crazy, trying to get stuff from you, that’s really not nice,” he said .
“I don’t know what they can do to fix it, but it’s really not nice.”
People were quick to comment on Ralph’s video – one said most people don’t use the cards – they just ride for free.
“I did that and got fined,” he admitted.
Another said the Myki phone issue is unique to iPhone users.
Some people added more “things to hate” to the list, including poor internet and cafes that close at 5 p.m.
“I live in Melbourne and there is no truer video there,” agreed one local.
Ralph has since returned home to London.