A bride has been praised for “standing her ground” and removing an “absent-minded” bridesmaid from her bridal party – but some claim she has been “too harsh” with her decision.
Kate, the bride, was hesitant to ask Sally, a friend of her fiancé’s family, to be a bridesmaid because they didn’t know each other very well.
Although Kate revealed on Reddit that Sally was “really excited to be included,” Sally refused to do the work that comes with being in the bridal party and did not respond to any of the group chats or plans.
Sally eventually slammed the girlfriend for “asking too much” of her and claimed the constant stream of messages was “exhausting” which is why she never responded.
The bride finally grew tired of Sally’s lack of participation and decided to kick her out of the wedding party.
Kate shared in the post what brought her to the breaking point.
“We have a few group chats for the bachelorette and wedding events,” the bride said. “The first text I sent was a hello and asked the girls to introduce themselves via text so they all had each other’s phone numbers. They all responded except Sally.
‘Weeks went by, girls started asking about dresses so I sent them to them but Sally didn’t get back to me. My sister started asking me who the extra number was in the chat and I was starting to get worried so I invited Sally over for dinner.
A bride has been praised for “standing her ground” and removing an “absent-minded” bridesmaid from her bridal party.
“When she visits, I tell her I’m worried and I need her to respond to the group chat so we all know she’s a part of this. She apologizes and assures me that I have nothing to worry about and that she’s there to help me whenever I need anything.”
Kate thought that was all, but Sally’s behavior did not improve.
‘A month later, Sally still hasn’t said anything in the group chat. The girls are now planning things for the bachelorette party, my sister is ordering t-shirts. She asked for everyone’s t-shirt size, among other things, and Sally hasn’t said anything.
“I’m starting to get really stressed out about this because now my sister and other bridesmaids have noticed Sally’s silence and are texting me separately about it.”
Kate decided to send a message to Sally about her lack of effort.
Kate decided she’d had enough of wondering about Sally’s dedication and spoke to her fiancé about the matter, since Sally is a friend of her family.
‘My fiancé decided to reach out to Sally and asked if she plans to be a part of the wedding because we haven’t heard from her and it’s really stressing me out.
‘Sally responds to my fiancé with an angry text and sends me one too. She says we’re asking too much of her and that she needs to focus on herself. She also says I need to stop worrying and that she’s ‘beyond exhausted’ trying to be present on her own.
“I told her that we understand if she’s going through something, but she needs to be involved if she wants to be in the wedding party. I told her that we love her and that she’s not alone and that we’re here if she needs anything.”
The little altercation happened over a month ago, and Sally still hasn’t responded to the bride-to-be or groom-to-be.
Although they still plan to send Sally over and invite her, she has been officially kicked out of the wedding party.
Many applauded Kate’s decision.
“My biggest regret about my wedding was not kicking out a bridesmaid who behaved like that,” said one of them. “It caused me a lot more work and stress to have to find her for every single thing. It was really horrible.”
“She wasn’t doing her part. She was never ‘in’ in the first place, so it’s not like she was being kicked out,” another said.
“You have to plan one of the most important events of your life and she has cheated on you,” one said.
But some claimed the bride had “too many expectations”.
“All the planning is supposed to be optional,” said one. “It’s great that your friends and family are doing all this for you, but the wedding, rehearsal, and I guess the bachelorette party are really the only mandatory events.”
‘We’ve gotten used to extras like bachelorette parties, dressing up in themed costumes and all the rest, but it really is a lot to ask of our loved ones.
“I’m sure she gets frequent texts from a multitude of strangers asking her to commit to this or that party – not just to attend, but to pay for things each time. She’s not handling it well, but she’s probably completely overwhelmed and feels like a bad friend for letting you and your fiancé down.”
Another added: “You should have discussed your expectations with Sally when you asked her to defend you. She’s not part of the group and doesn’t know how to handle the situation.”
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