Bride-to-be shares opinion after revealing she wants to leave her stepdaughter at home on honeymoon

A bride-to-be is divided after revealing she didn’t want to take her teenage stepdaughter on her honeymoon, despite agreeing to bring her three-year-old child.

The unnamed woman, from the UK, took mumsnet to explain that she had been saving for a long time to go on a honeymoon that had been postponed several times due to illness and the pandemic.

She revealed that the couple brought their young daughter with them because they did not have adequate childcare.

The woman said the teen, who shares her husband with her ex, always jokes about her choice of activities and had previously canceled vacation plans with them at the last minute.

A bride-to-be is divided after revealing she didn't want to take her teenage stepdaughter on her honeymoon, despite agreeing to bring her three-year-old child.  stock image

A bride-to-be is divided after revealing she didn’t want to take her teenage stepdaughter on her honeymoon, despite agreeing to bring her three-year-old child. stock image

While some agreed it was fine to have one child and not another, others warned that the blatant “preferred behavior” could hurt family dynamics forever.

The unnamed bride had been “very much looking forward to her wedding and honeymoon,” which had been several years in the making.

She explained that the couple had “chattered” for two weeks at a luxury resort, having not been on vacation in three years, and that they had no choice but to take her daughter on their honeymoon as they didn’t have any suitable childcare facilities.

The bride added that her fiancé’s daughter spent every other weekend with them, one or two nights a week, and sometimes vacationed with them.

“We always include her in vacation plans, but she often changes her mind at the last minute when she gets a better offer from her mother’s family, who are extremely wealthy,” she said.

“Anything we intend to do is always met with contempt and open derision, repeats clearly from mother’s side of the family.

“This ranges from something as small as a cake we offer “I only eat really good quality cakes from specialist bakeries” to bigger things. I know she’s only mimicking behavior she’s observed, but it’s getting annoying. She has brothers and sisters, but they are older, have moved out and rarely visit,” she said.

The woman explained that the teen was difficult to deal with and that she knew she would not enjoy her honeymoon if she came.

The woman explained that the teen was difficult to deal with and that she knew she would not enjoy her honeymoon if she came.

The woman explained that the teen was difficult to deal with and that she knew she would not enjoy her honeymoon if she came.

‘The journey costs us a lot. I know it would be one of the few things we do by our dear stepdaughter’s standards and she would probably love to come but it won’t feel like a honeymoon to me with her there ignoring and demanding her sibling that everything is ready her way. I know I won’t enjoy it.

And of course there’s always the risk that she might decide not to come at the last minute if her other family comes up with something interesting (it’s happened before). And it’s way too much money to lose.

The point is I know most dear stepdaughter’s behavior comes from a place of fear of being replaced, she’s a young 15 and not very fair to hold her accountable.

People's opinions were divided, from those telling the woman to lie, to others saying they should book during the school year to give a rock-solid reason why the teen wasn't admitted.

People's opinions were divided, from those telling the woman to lie, to others saying they should book during the school year to give a rock-solid reason why the teen wasn't admitted.

People’s opinions were divided, from those telling the woman to lie, to others saying they should book during the school year to give a rock-solid reason why the teen wasn’t admitted.

“I know it would send a strong signal that she is just as important as our dear child to include her in the plans. But I know I won’t have fun. So my dilemma is really doing the right thing or doing the selfish thing.’

People said she shouldn’t bring a kid to the honeymoon.

“I wouldn’t invite either kid, I know you didn’t ask, but it’s a honeymoon. Life is too short I guess, relax and enjoy yourself child free,” said one.

“To be honest, I’d tell her a white lie. Suppose grandma has your sweet daughter. Then pretend it went wrong at the last minute, so sweet stepdaughter can’t make a fuss,” said one.

People said the mother should take the teen if she brought the three-year-old and said she should bring both or no kids

People said the mother should take the teen if she brought the three-year-old and said she should bring both or no kids

People said the mother should take the teen if she brought the three-year-old and said she should bring both or no kids

“I wouldn’t take one child without the other. Offer to take both or take none,” wrote another.

“But for a teen who sees her dad get married and then takes the new baby (which she’s already insecure about) on a honeymoon without her, that’s going to feel like favoritism and really affect that relationship badly,” they continued.

“She will be replaced and displaced by you and the little one and no rational conversation will stop those feelings,” she added.

“If you take a three-year-old, you’re not going to have a sexy adult-only honeymoon and she knows it,” they concluded.

“I wouldn’t invite either kid, I know you didn’t ask, but it’s a honeymoon. Life is too short I guess, relax and enjoy yourself child free,” said one.

‘Book during school period, problem solved then. Sounds like she has a lot of vacations with her other family, so I don’t think this is a problem,” someone offered.

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