The officer who shot dead terrorist Man Monis to end Sydney’s Lindt Cafe siege has finally been unmasked as he recalls the worst moment afterwards when he learned the hostage who died in his arms was killed by a police bullet .
Ben Besant, whose identity was hidden for almost 10 years, told Channel Seven Stand out that her world collapsed when the then New South Wales deputy commissioner told officers that a round of fired bullets ricocheted and killed lawyer and mother of three, Katrina Dawson, 38.
Besant, who watched Ms Dawson die in his arms just hours earlier after leading the elite NSW Police Tactical Operations Unit (TOU) to the cafe on December 16 in 2014, he said the news devastated him.
“When I heard this, I remember feeling like throwing up,” he told journalist Chris Reason on Sunday night’s show.
“I felt completely overwhelmed, like my world was closing around me.”
After that, Besant said he started seeing Dawson, who was killed by a rebound, “everywhere,” especially if a woman had the same hair color.
“Every time I saw a blonde woman, I saw her completely like her,” Besant said.
“I would have a panic attack at that point.”
Ben Besant shot dead terrorist Mon Monis to end the 17-hour siege at Sydney’s Lindt Café in December 2014.
The then-undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was so severe that Besant walked around the police station with his hand on his gun at all times.
“I was ready for the next fight, the next threat,” Besant said.
‘I even imagined other police officers as I walked getting shot, not shooting at me or me shooting them.
‘I just watched them get shot and bleed to death in front of me. I was there in a dark place for quite a while.’
Besant revealed that when he and his Alpha team of TOU officers were around the corner waiting for the order to raid the cafe, they believed Monis had a bomb in a large backpack he was carrying, which later turned out to be a ruse.
Sydney lawyer and mother Katrina Dawson was killed by a police bullet ricocheting into a cafe.
When three hostages escaped from the cafe, prompting Monis to fire a shot that missed the fleeing trio, Besant waited to hear the order to break in.
“I completely believed that going in would mean my death,” Besant said.
‘We joked that this was the last job we were going to do and that we were all going to be blown up… but then it became real and we all went silent.
“That’s when we started texting our partners and getting certain photos of our kids and saying goodbye.”
Then, pregnant with their second child, Mr Besant’s wife Lisa turned on the television to follow the terrifying unfolding drama, which occurred right opposite Seven’s Sydney studios on Martin Place.
The youngest of the couple made a surprising observation about the officers, whose faces were almost completely hidden behind their helmets.
The girl was able to recognize Mr Besant by his blue eyes, the only facial feature visible.
“She said, ‘Look, there’s dad,'” Lisa said.
Several hostages fled the Lindt Café before the tactical response team stormed the café.
Lisa then received a goodbye message from Mr. Besant asking for a photo of his daughter.
“I wasn’t so sure I would meet our other son… it wasn’t good to think that,” Lisa said.
Although the Alpha group tensed to receive the order to enter, it did not arrive until after 2 a.m. the next morning, after three other groups of hostages fled and Monis executed the cafe’s manager, Tori. Johnson, with his sawed-off pump-action shotgun.
That’s when officers finally stormed the building, 16 and a half hours after the siege began.
Besant, who led the charge along with an officer holding a bulletproof shield, said he looked across the cafe directly at Monis and focused the light of his gun-mounted torch and laser at the terrorist.
“I remember seeing his shotgun pointed directly at us,” Besant said.
“We were looking directly into each other’s eyes.”
Besant claimed that, like in the movies, time slowed down “a lot” at the crucial moment.
Lindt Cafe manager Tori Johnson was executed in cold blood by Mon Monis during the horrific event.
“I knew the only way to save someone else in that cafe was to kill them,” Besant said.
“I remember looking into his eyes and I remember thinking ‘I’m going to kill you.'”
“I think I hit one or two shots at the beginning. And then, yeah, the huge flash (when Monis responded).
“I remember flinching and waiting for it to hit me, but it didn’t.”
He continued advancing towards Monis and shooting.
“I was completely obsessed with shooting him,” Besant said.
‘It’s not down yet. And I know I was hitting him, my laser pointers were pointed at him and he still hasn’t fallen.
‘So that’s when I raised my laser pointer up to his neck and started shooting at his head. I needed to get it down. He needed to prevent the bomb from detonating.
The terrorist Mon Monis claimed to have a bomb in a backpack he was carrying during the siege, but it turned out to be a ruse.
Finally the shooting stopped.
“I remember standing with my gun looking at him and, oh yeah, I realized he wasn’t a threat anymore,” Besant said.
“The feeling of standing next to this man that I just violently shot and killed.”
However, something even more traumatic was to come when the police expelled the six remaining hostages.
Besant said that while searching the space he looked under some tables.
“I can see that the top of what I think is someone’s head,” he said.
‘ I realized it was a lady with blonde hair dressed like a business suit and ending in a ponytail.
The moments that follow, as he cradled Ms Dawson, a Sydney lawyer, in his arms, are something Besant said he sees “every day”.
“I was just looking into her eyes,” he said.
‘Every time I breathed, it was less and less.
‘At that moment I knew there was nothing I could do.
A coronial inquest into the siege was scathing about the response of the New South Wales police, particularly the long wait to send in the tactical team.
“I wanted it desperately, I was just willing her to take, to take another breath.”
“Inside of me, I think, ‘please, please, breathe again, please.'”
‘Each breath became shorter and shorter and then he stopped breathing.
‘Something I will never forget, she literally died in my arms. The saddest moment of my life.’
A coronial inquest into the siege in 2015-16 was scathing about the police response to the siege, particularly for waiting so long to send in the TOU assault team.
Throughout the process, Mr. Besant’s name was suppressed and he was assigned the label “Agent A.”
It took a nine-year battle in the New South Wales Supreme Court, backed by Seven, for Besant to finally reveal his identity.
The nearly decade-long crackdown affected Besant’s post-traumatic stress disorder and he claimed it cost him his career and his marriage to Lisa.
“Being able to get my name back has become a big deal for me,” he said.
After PTSD became too overwhelming for him to remain in the police force, Besant found a second career as a carpenter.