Pitchfork published a great profile of Justin Vernon, aka Bon Iver, aka the man who writes songs that are so sad that he has turned a generation of sad boys into sad men. Jeremy D. Larson's play is rich in details about the Eau Claire County crooner, but the best is in the first sentence:
"Justin Vernon takes a blow as he attacks his Tesla, affectionately called John Teshla."
It is a hilarious idea that the man, famous for writing sad songs alone in the woods, drives the preferred car of Logan Paul. But it is even better that he named it after a play on everyone's favorite former Entertainment tonight host and composer of the best sports theme number.
While we are talking about Bon Iver, I have actually thought a lot about the music that I liked in high school and college, thanks to the many mutations of the sponge bob lunch table knives that have polluted my timeline:
(I am one, four, and five, in that order – although I have some doubts about these groups. Anyway.)
I wondered: what would the indie bands I loved ten years ago call them Teslas? So just like Justin Vernon, I lit up a car, recharged my electric car and wrote down some ideas.
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Model Y Control
- The Shins: Car-ing Is Creepy
- MGMT: Electric Feel (don't have to do anything about this)
- LCD sound system: Azealia Banks plays in my house
- Arcade Fire: My Battery Is a Cage
- The Killers: SpaceXman
- Interpol: obstacle
- Hoobastank: Hyperloopastank (h / t Sean, who somehow knew that I like & # 39; The Reason & # 39; sing during karaoke)
- Broken Social Scene: folk songs for a 48-year-old baby
- Death Cab for Cutie: I Will Follow You Into the Thank Memes
- Radiohead: Karma Police (the SEC)
- Succeeded: One day (in reference to Tesla's profitability)
- Succeeding: Hard to explain (in reference to Elon's behavior)
- Succeeding: you talk way too much (in reference to Elon's tweets)
- Strokes: Room on Fire (you get it – the Strokes make this very easy)
All that to say, read the Bon Iver profile Pitchfork. It is much more thoughtful than these bad puns. And please post your worst indie puns in the responses.