Liberal America has returned a guilty verdict: Number 45 is now a convicted felon, and his enemies, frothing and foaming, are as smug as they are predictable.
MS-DNC, Clucking Nitwit Network, and The View’s histrionic hens were as giddy as Taylor Swift in the middle of her first kiss.
After six weeks of foreplay, with cameras focused 24/7 on the white walls of the Manhattan courthouse, these young jackjaws let their orgasmic sentences explode into guilty goo.
After just 12 hours of deliberation, the 12 New York Everymen called time and CNN’s brave Dana Bash provided her expert insight:
“The nation is now holding its breath … we’re going to have a former president sitting in a courtroom listening to what 12 ordinary people decided.”
Thank you, Judge Brandeis!
Hallelujah, sang MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, who praised an “impeccable” trial when the 34 charges came down.
And Hollywood woke up… he saw God!
Just on the phone with the furious Robert De Niro, the red-haired monster Kathy Griffin – of Trump’s severed head fame – said she was crying ‘tears of joy’.
Hallelujah, sang MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, who praised an “impeccable” trial when the 34 charges came down.
Just on the phone with the furious Robert De Niro, the red-haired monster Kathy Griffin – of Trump’s severed head fame – said she was crying ‘tears of joy’.
Also soaking up the celebration juice, ‘Get Trump’ prosecutor Bragg and his rictus-smiling lawfare lackeys strutted up to the press podium.
How do you feel about your “masterful and impeccable” processing, asked one particularly ass-licking journalist? Put your panties back on, sir!
The worker of the moment, Stormy Daniels, conveyed her “empathy” for the convict Don through her lawyer, which was as credible as Pinocchio Cohen’s treacherous testimony.
Meanwhile, across the burning Rubicon, former Trump adversary Megyn Kelly was spitting stiletto fire and speaking for right-thinking Americans everywhere:
‘The country is disgraced. Alvin Bragg should be disbarred. They will rue the day.
Go get them, Meg!
Coiffed Caitlyn Jenner wasn’t a happy camperette either. America’s greatest Olympian (let’s be honest, she could take on Michael Phelps in a fistfight) fumed at the “scandalous” procedure.
Taking in the celebration juice, ‘Get Trump’ prosecutor Bragg and his lawfare lackeys with rictus smiles took to the press podium.
And even Meatball Ron DeSantis managed to put on his high heels and release a yawning statement condemning the ‘kangaroo court.’
And what a circus of rabid animals it has been.
It wasn’t just De Niro the dog, waving his fingers and barking outside the courthouse at Trump supporters. (‘You guys are gangsters, fuck you!’)
No, the Thursday before the verdict we saw a big-breasted MAGA maniac arrested for smashing her women’s weapons at an anti-Trump troll.
When the cops dragged her away, it felt like the beginning of a low-rent adult film, but then again, isn’t that all this charade?
A British couple vacationing in humid Manhattan apparently waded into the delirious rabble only to be met with shouts of “Fuck the Queen!”
The Thursday before the verdict we saw a big-breasted MAGA maniac arrested for smashing her women’s weapons at an anti-Trump troll.
Meatball Ron DeSantis managed to put on his high heels and release a yawning statement condemning the ‘kangaroo court.’ And what a circus of rabid animals that has a bee
And an unemployed – unemployable – man dressed in a prison jumpsuit and a rubber Trump mask danced like an ape.
This madness has now taken a deeply disturbing turn: our politics are too crazy to quantify.
Republicans promising to move to Somalia (moving to Canada is like that, Amy Schumer) will no doubt stick around long enough to oust Biden from the Oval in November.
But today no victory was achieved.
What every millionaire, mom, or average Joe who collects belly button lint needs to realize is that if they can do it to him, they can do it to you.
