Our brilliant advice columnist Bel Mooney has responded to thousands of letters from readers over the years. But what if the rich and famous came to her for unparalleled advice on their own problems?
Each week we invite Bel to look behind the headlines and reflect on an imaginary celebrity dilemma we’ve (ironically) made up for her. In turn, Bel will take the letter at face value, just as she does with all those that appear in her famous column each week.
She will give an honest answer, so celebrities and politicians, listen up! This week we imagine what former Prime Minister Liz Truss might write in a letter to Bel.
Dear Bel,
I need your advice about a work situation. In short, I think my snobbish colleagues (many of them men) have deliberately sabotaged and humiliated me. After years of steadily advancing (perhaps not as quickly as I would have liked) through the ranks in a competitive field, I saw my opportunity for a big promotion.
Controversially, my boss had to leave at short notice after making some mistakes, and I stepped in to take his place. Although some people said he wasn’t up to the job, I always believed in myself and my abilities and felt like this was my time.
But my plans were unconventional and were not well received by veterans who thought they knew better. I believe they withheld crucial information, which caused my workplace to almost go bankrupt. The mood turned against me, I was forced to fire my closest confidant, and then my colleagues started quitting left and right. In the end I saw the sign on the wall and resigned too, just as a cruel joke began to circulate: that lettuce would have been better at my job.
But I think I found myself in a horrible situation, where everyone conspired to make my job impossible. I’ve been saying this to anyone who will listen. How can I convince my detractors that none of this was my fault?
From Liz
Liz Truss promoting her new memoir Ten Years to Save the West
Bel Mooney responds: You’ve obviously been through a very difficult time and that’s why you feel so hurt. No one likes having bad things said about them, even if it’s normal in any “competitive field” like the one you work in. More importantly, no one likes to think that they have had bad things said about them. failed.
But that brings us to the heart of your problem. Nowhere in this card is it questioned whether he could have played his hand better. Most of us will remember words we shouldn’t have said, or wrong decisions that still make us feel ashamed. But I don’t read any of that in your words. I don’t see any interesting questions here, just blame.
Many people have to work in very stressful occupations and are forced to endure times when they feel like the world is against them. Over the years (in my problematic “work” letters category) I have received many heartfelt missives from those who were convinced that their co-workers were behind them, or that others were favored while their own talents were not. were recognized, or that they could have changed the fortunes of a company if only people had listened properly… and so on. So much self-pity masked as self-confidence.
All that is in your letter. Your monotonous metallic sound of ‘Yo, yo, yo!’ He must have struck a very false note: when the important new job as company boss obviously required you to listen to others. To succeed as a leader in any industry you need tact, charm, diplomacy, and sheer cunning. You need to be able to read the room, and that means looking ahead, not glancing over your shoulder because you’re obsessed with detractors. You must cultivate the best minds and listen to the most nuanced suggestions, incorporate them all along with your own convictions, and then present the package as your own. Pragmatism? Of course, but it also creates harmony. You can run a business without it, but you won’t last long.
One-note self-confidence like his stops any conversation right there. Why would you need to consult even the wisest of your colleagues if you are completely convinced that you are right? Your ambition was never rewarded as quickly as you wanted, and from the beginning you believed that snobbish men (mostly) were hell-bent on stopping your progress, but where’s the curiosity to know why? If success is only achieved as a result of not believing in anyone else, then I fear the cost is too high.
Unfortunately, I think you’ve already paid for it, and it’s your secret rage at failure that makes you unable to admit any regrets.