When my ex-husband got down on one knee and opened a jewelry box to reveal a sparkling diamond ring, I loved his choice of ring.
His heart was beating so hard I could practically see it beating, cartoon style. The proposal wasn’t a surprise (I was 28 at the time and we’d been dating for ten years), but it still felt momentous.
I had enlisted my best friend to get the perfect ring and the three resulting stones, one larger cushioned by two smaller ones, were neither flashy nor too small. As I sat looking at it on the bus or fiddling with it in work meetings, I felt genuine pleasure at being able to wear something so precious and beautiful every day.
However, 17 years later, the same ring had become a symbol of pain, rejection and recrimination after a painful divorce. At first, I let it languish in a drawer, a latent reminder of a derailed life plan.
Then I decided to point two fingers at that useless feeling: turn it into something new. So, hello to sparkling diamond earrings that not only brighten my face but also remind me that I have a bright future.
Rosie Green was inspired by model Emily Ratajkowski, who turned her ring into two separate ‘divorce rings’.
I may not have much in common with model Emily Ratajkowski, 32, but this is something we share: an engagement ring repurposed into new jewelry. As Ratajkowski said: “I don’t think a woman should be stripped of her diamonds just because she is losing a man.”
Following her mother-of-one’s divorce in 2022, she turned her old engagement ring into two separate rings, revealing her new ‘divorce rings’ on Instagram and talking about their ‘evolution.’
If the moment I was given my ring was the height of joy, the moment I took it off for the last time after 16 years of marriage marked a brutal defeat. I spent six months fighting to save my marriage and then watched it dissolve in an acid bath of despair and sadness.
When he left, and I finally knew it was over, it was like a switch had been flipped, leaving me numb.
I had already gone through all my grieving, so instead of looking at photos or wishing for my old life, I just looked forward. I had more important things to worry about, like taking care of my two kids, figuring out how to pay the bills, or working on the lawnmower.
Still, a year later my thoughts returned to that ring, abandoned and abandoned in a hidden drawer.
A jeweler transformed the three stones into three earrings and kept the platinum band.
As I turned it over in my fingers, I felt so grateful that I hadn’t thrown it into a lake or thrown it into it.
But what to do with that? I could sell it, but it seemed tragic to me. Walking to a pawn shop would have felt like I was on top.
Additionally, I was worried that selling it could expose me to legal questions about whether it is, in fact, a shared asset that should be divided. My ex-husband, admittedly, did not ask me to return it or for me to sell the ring and share the profits.
So I decided to take back the power and not long for the past. I wanted to wear the diamonds (let’s be clear, I’m not someone with so much jewelry that I can wear all my other diamonds), but I didn’t want to wear them on that finger.
No, I needed the reincarnation of my diamonds to give a message of independence and strength.
Emily Ratajkowski suggests that rewearing your engagement ring is “a symbol of your life becoming your own again” and a reminder that you can “make yourself happy in ways you hadn’t imagined.” Quite.
After ruling out a pendant or bracelet, I decided to turn the three stones into earrings. I had never had my lobes pierced before, so it was very important for me to take this step.
The same ring had become a symbol of pain, rejection and recrimination after a painful divorce. Rosie’s diamond ring (pictured)
Despite my wild(ish) teenage years, by the latter part of my marriage I had become stylistically demure, some might say boring. Nude nail polish, mom dresses, natural hair, subtle makeup.
But I wanted to return to the spirit of my pre-childhood days. The one who danced on tables and wore catsuits to go clubbing. These earrings would help me find her, find myself, again.
A friendly jeweler I’ve known for years transformed the three stones into three earrings and kept the platinum band to offset the cost. In the end I had to pay a few hundred pounds.
Wanting to use them right away, I found a tattoo parlor that would pierce each lobe (doing my right ear twice) with a needle, instead of a piercing gun. That way I could put the three new earrings in directly, no need for cheap training earrings.
And so it was, in a dark basement in Fulham, that a woman tattooed from head to toe pierced my ears.
When the mirror was delivered to me, I instantly loved how they looked. Three piercings isn’t anything rebellious by most people’s standards, but for me, deviating from the traditional was exciting.
There was no sadness when I saw them then and no sadness now, five years later. Just pride. I would recommend that any woman trying to rebuild a new life after a divorce do the same; Holding on to her engagement ring in its original form will only make you miserable.
Now that the pain of the breakup of my marriage has faded, I can see these diamonds in a new light. Given and received with love, a symbol of a past that may have ended in sadness but contained good moments and happy memories.
But overall, I think they look good. Which, to me, marks true healing.