When Team GB names its gymnastics team for the Paris Olympics on Thursday, Becky Downie will do something she hasn’t done for a long time – set foot in Lilleshall.
The Shropshire country house acts as the national training center for British Gymnastics. However, surprisingly, Downie has been left too traumatized to go near the place where she would normally be preparing for her third Olympic Games.
“I’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder,” the 32-year-old reveals to Mail Sport ahead of her return to Lilleshall for the team announcement. ‘They said the symptoms are very similar to post-traumatic stress disorder, that Lilleshall was a really triggering place for me. So they allowed me to do all my preparation from my home gym and stay away from Lilleshall, which I’m very grateful for.
Downie believes there are two main factors behind his anxiety around the national center. Firstly, Lilleshall is where she suffered physical and mental abuse as a young gymnast, something she and her younger sister Ellie detailed when they became the first members of the British team to complain about the “entrenched” culture of the sport in 2020.
“I’ve been going to Lilleshall since I was nine and a lot of things have happened there, a lot of things that we haven’t expressed publicly yet,” says the 2019 world uneven bars silver medalist.
Becky Downie will return to the British Gymnastics national training center in Lilleshall as Team GB confirm the squad to compete at the upcoming Olympic Games in Paris.
The 2019 world uneven bars silver medalist revealed to Mail Sport that she has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at the national training centre.
Downie, pictured in Lilleshall in 2016, previously detailed how she and her younger sister Ellie suffered physical and mental abuse while at the training centre.
Lilleshall also brings back painful memories of the tragic death of Downie’s brother, Josh. He suffered a heart attack at age 24 playing cricket in May 2021, on the eve of the Downie trials for the Tokyo Olympics. The news meant that she missed the trials in Cardiff and, although she was given another chance to try out a few weeks later in Cannock, she was controversially not selected for the Games.
“Although my experience with Josh wasn’t at Lilleshall, there was a period when I went back after my brother and it was a really difficult time and I went back there again,” Downie says.
‘They’re just not good experiences. The place became too much. I got to a point where I knew I couldn’t be there anymore, and I thought, “British Gymnastics, you have to help me with this or I’ll be left out.”
Downie still hasn’t come to terms with the lack of compassion shown to him by British Gymnastics following Josh’s death. After discovering that he had not made the Tokyo team, he was given just 48 hours to appeal the decision, a deadline that coincided with his brother’s funeral. “The deadline to appeal was 11 o’clock and the reason I know that is because it was the start time of the funeral, so I couldn’t do both myself,” she recalls.
‘I had to pass my email logins to my team to make sure they were coming from me and they took care of all that while I had to deal with my family situation.
‘I still struggle with that a lot. You never get over something like that. But what made the situation much more difficult is that I was so closely linked to my sport, which I still choose to practice. It was my decision to come back to gymnastics and stay, but it has been very difficult having to work with those same people at times. “It has been quite unbearable in stages.”
Brother Josh Downie died after suffering a heart attack during a cricket session, days before the sisters were to be tried for the Olympic team in Cardiff in 2021.
Downie admits that the events of 2021, including the lack of compassion shown by British Gymnastics, have remained at the forefront of his thoughts during the Paris selection process.
The Downie family celebrated Ellie (left) and Becky (right) being appointed MBEs in the New Year Honors for services to gymnasts and the sport of gymnastics which they received at Windsor Castle in March.
Unsurprisingly, the events of 2021 have been at the forefront of Downie’s thoughts during the casting process for Paris. Another reminder of what happened to his brother comes from the regular heart tests she now must have, given fears that Josh’s condition may be genetic. So far, the evidence has been clear.
As a tribute to Josh, Downie has a heartbeat tattooed on his left wrist. She also has a five-pointed star tattooed on the ring finger of her right hand, symbolizing the ‘Downie Five’: her and her four siblings.
“He was supposed to be a star, but in the end he seemed more like a blur,” he says with a smile. “I quite like that she’s dysfunctional because I feel like she represents all of us perfectly.”
Late last year, the Downie family finally had something to celebrate, when Becky and Ellie were appointed MBEs in the New Year Honors for their services to gymnasts and the sport of gymnastics.
Downie sees the gong, which she received from the Princess Royal at Windsor Castle in March, as validation that she and her sister were right to speak out about gymnastics’ atrocious practices. “She showed that what we did was a good thing,” says Downie, whose evidence formed part of the damning Whyte Review in 2022, which found abuse was “systemic” in the sport.
‘It contributed to that change and that is why the gymnasts are happier. They can go to dinner and eat whatever they want and they no longer weigh them down. For me, the MBE will probably be my greatest achievement in sport, regardless of what happens in the summer at the Games.
‘Medals are incredible but they are forgotten. The impact we have managed to have on the whole of British Gymnastics means everything. It is a legacy that will last a lifetime.” Downie remains passionate about pioneering positive change. He is speaking to Mail Sport from an inner-city London school, where he is part of a Venus campaign to tackle skin awareness, which has been identified as a major barrier in sport for women.
Sadly, Downie knows all too well the effects of image insecurity, having endured “heartbreaking scrutiny” over his own body and weight. Last year, her sister Ellie retired from the sport at just 23 years old to prioritize her “mental health and happiness.”
Somehow, though, Downie has kept going, although she suspects some at British Gymnastics would prefer she had given up.
Becky, left, believes the honor proves she and her sister were right to speak out about gymnastics practice, and her evidence will form part of the damning Whyte Review in 2022.
Downie is supporting a Venus campaign to address skin awareness, which has been identified as a major barrier in sport for women.
“I really didn’t want British Gymnastics to end my career,” he says. ‘I really think at that time there were people who were intentionally trying to do that.
‘Certain people have left now and there are other better people who have supported me a lot. But I wanted to end it on my terms and not because others were trying to force me out. “I knew I wanted another chance.”
And that opportunity will come next month in Paris, when Downie competes in his third Olympic Games, 16 years after his first. After all the low moments, she is determined to finish her career on a high by winning a medal on the uneven bars.
“I think I have a pretty tough routine to deal with,” he adds. “But regardless of the result, I have to be proud that I overcame so much.”
As the official shaver of the Olympic and Paralympic Games, Venus is proud to partner with Team GB athletes to share powerful personal skin stories to ensure a positive legacy for women’s sport.
