Tash Oakes has always struggled to make friends and says meeting new people as an adult is “harder than dating.”
The 27-year-old Melbourne woman is often so afraid of building relationships that it has affected her confidence and self-esteem.
And she’s sick of other women assuming that not having many friends means you’re not a decent person or that you’re not fun to be around.
“I’ve never been able to find people who like my authenticity and in my opinion it’s way worse than the dating scene,” Oakes told FEMAIL.
The frustrated Australian teen referenced trends seen on TikTok including: “When you find out the reason why the girl who has no friends has no friends.”
in a video She said: ‘It’s heartbreaking and feels like a personal attack on me because all my life I’ve struggled to make friends.
‘As I’ve gotten older, I still struggle. I’ve never had consistent friends over long periods of time or across different stages of life.
“I have grown and become aware that everyone has fulfilled a purpose.”
Melbourne-based Tash Oakes has always struggled to make friends and is “fed up” with people assuming that not having friends means you’re no fun to be around.
The 27-year-old has tried to make new friends before, but it “didn’t end well,” possibly due to her “desperation” for genuine friendships.
Ms Oakes had tried to make new friends before, but it “didn’t end well”, possibly due to her “desperation” for genuine friendships.
You often worry about the judgment of others, but try to block it out and ignore it.
“The ideology that’s being spread that if you don’t have friends you’re worthy of having friends or people should want to stay away from you is holding me back from achieving my goals and I’m scared to go after what I need,” she said in a TikTok video.
“If people don’t have large groups of friends or no friends at all, let’s not jump to conclusions about why that happens.”
And she’s not alone: thousands of other Australians have experienced the struggle of making new friends.
The frustrated Australian teen referenced trends seen on TikTok including: “When you find out the reason why the girl who has no friends has no friends.”
“Making friends is hard, I’ve given up,” one woman admitted in the comments.
“As a girl without friends, I feel this in my soul. I cry with you,” said another.
“I’m also having trouble finding my people,” wrote a third.
Another added: “I can relate. My friendship circles have always been small throughout my life. Even recently losing the strongest friendship I’d had in a long time made me question myself, but we are so precious.”
“I never had friends for a long time and now I have none,” wrote another.
She often worries about the judgment of others, but tries to block it out and ignore it. “I’m trying to be confident in finding my people,” Oakes said.
Earlier this week, another young Australian revealed the terrifying reality of trying to make new friends as an adult.
Melbourne paramedic Grace is used to keeping her cool in high-pressure situations, but when it comes to making friends, her palms start to sweat.
And she’s not alone: Millennials and Gen Z have revealed that meeting new people causes crippling anxiety.
Grace found herself needing to expand her circle when many of her friends began moving on to the next phase of their lives by getting married and having babies.
Now, at 30, she has realized how difficult it can be to meet new people as an adult.
While it was an easy “norm” for previous generations, it is something that Millennials and Gen Z struggle to achieve correctly.
In February, Grace stepped out of her comfort zone by asking a retail store employee if she would like to grab a coffee.
“I was really nervous. I felt like I was asking someone out and I was really worried about being rejected,” she told FEMAIL.
Grace from Melbourne is trying to meet new people, something thousands of Millennials and Gen Z want to do right now.
In February, the 30-year-old stepped out of her comfort zone by asking a shop employee if he wanted to grab a coffee. “I was really nervous. I felt like I was asking someone out and I was really worried about being rejected,” she told FEMAIL.
“I’d never had to ask someone out with a friend before, so it was new territory.”
She had spoken to the employee several times while shopping at the store. To her surprise, the young woman told her that she “needs friends too.”
Grace said the coffee date went “incredibly” well and the two have become close friends.
“She already knew a little bit about what was going on in my life because I had been buying clothes for different reasons and events; we got along like a house on fire,” she said.
‘She came to my 30th birthday, we took our dates on a double date to the Queen Vic night markets, and she’s coming to girls’ night this weekend to meet some of my other friends.’
Grace said she has always struggled with social anxiety and has never been a big drinker or someone who partied a lot.
She met her current friends at school, college and work, and hopes to meet new people in other ways, such as by sharing an interest or hobby.
Grace said the coffee date went “incredibly” well and the two have become close friends.
“I’ve been through some of the hardest things in my life over the last four years and it was incredibly difficult to get through them because I felt so alone,” she said.
‘Even though I had some friends, they were all getting married and having babies and I felt it was really hard to find time with them.
“It’s been amazing to be able to find friends who are more in line with where I am in my life.”