A Sydney nurse has revealed the important lesson she learned from dying patients after working in palliative care for more than 35 years.
Cindy Grundy, who works at an inner-city public hospital, said the key lesson was to “take care of time” and treat it as a priceless commodity.
‘For me, timing is everything. “It’s very beautiful,” said the 59-year-old.
‘You need to learn to prioritize things and let go of things that don’t matter. I appreciate the smaller things in life when working in this job, but time is very important to me.’
Grundy’s career has taken her to palliative care settings in wards, nursing homes, prisons and at the bedsides of people who have chosen to spend their final moments at home.
Palliative care nurse Cindy Grundy (pictured) has worked with dying people for 35 years and her most valuable lesson has been to “save your time.”
The nurse said a big part of her job is reassuring patients and letting them know that dying doesn’t hurt.
At the heart of what she, and other palliative care nurses, do is making sure patients can make the most of the last hours, days, weeks or months of life, whether by managing their symptoms or honoring their final wishes.
“They are dying but they are still alive and that is an opportunity to laugh, love and have new experiences,” explained Steven Turk, also a Sydney-based nurse.
He recalled a recent patient, an elderly man, who wanted to interact with animals before he died.
Staff had originally arranged for him to visit Taronga Zoo in Sydney’s north; However, his deteriorating condition prevented the trip from taking place.
Alternative plans were made for staff to bring their pets before officers from the NSW Mounted Police Unit offered to bring two horses to help grant the man’s final wish.
‘The man was bedridden, but we had the opportunity to take him downstairs. “The Mounties brought two horses and he was able to have that experience,” Mr. Turk said.
“The man was bedridden and actively dying at the time, but he was aware of the horses and was able to pet them, and that was the goal.
“Although it didn’t look like the original plan, we managed to create a space for life and that is something that can be done until the end.”
Grundy said it was important for people to know that dying doesn’t hurt.
‘People often ask about pain. “They want to know how they are going to die, and while people are extraordinary, death can often be quite normal,” he said.
“Patients often just don’t know what to expect and the job is to talk a lot and reassure people.”
Grundy believes it is a gift to be able to say goodbye when someone knows they are dying, as opposed to a sudden death.
The one question both Grundy and Turk declined to answer is whether the nurses were aware of a patient’s common regrets or last-minute deathbed revelations.
Turk said each patient was unique.
“Some people absolutely embrace the idea of death and it’s actually a point of liberation and it’s something they aspire to get to. Other people not so much,” he said.
‘Whoever you are in your life, you will be who you will be when you die. You don’t change your personality.’
Mrs. Grundy added that “it’s not like a movie.”
“People have a sense of wanting to tell their family what they mean to them, and if there’s anything positive to take away from a life-limiting illness, it’s that you have a unique opportunity to say what you think,” he said.
‘It’s probably the greatest gift you have with that diagnosis. It’s not like a sudden death where you don’t have time.