An au pair is considering a possible job offer after receiving an extremely long list of rules from a family who had expressed interest in hiring her.
The woman shared her dilemma – along with seven screenshots that capture the entire set of rules sent to her – on Reddit in search of advice, captioning the post: “SHOULD I RUN OR MATCH?” NEED ADVICE.’
‘Hello everyone! Right now I am going through the revenge process and have already contacted three families. One family in particular showed a lot of interest in me and I really enjoyed talking to the host mother – they seem like such a lovely family,” the au pair began. in his message at the Aupairs subreddit.
“However, after our conversation, she emailed me a set of rules that seemed a bit strict to me. I could use some advice as I don’t know if my reaction is overreacting or if it’s something to be concerned about.
A woman took to Reddit to seek his opinion on whether she should accept a job offer as an au pair for a family who sent her a list of more than 80 rules to follow.
The list of rules was divided by headings, including: “rules”, “outdoor rules”, “pool rules”, “au par car rules” and “au par general rules” (stock image)
The list sent by the mother contained a total of 83 rules, organized under different headings, including “rules”, “outdoor rules”, “pool rules”, “au pair car rules” and “au pair general rules”.
In fairness to the family, many of the rules seemed reasonable, including “Avoid being too loud” and “No smoking, vaping, or taking drugs, including weed.”
At the same time, many of the stated rules seemed so obvious that there was arguably no need to put them in writing.
These included: “Stay off the street when cars are coming,” “Always know where children are,” making sure children have their seat belts on when the car is moving, and “No driving.” ‘drinking water from the swimming pool’.
But some rules seemed too strict to the au pair job seeker, especially in the context of a list that already had 83 rules.
For example, one rule required that the au pair “be helpful even if you are not on duty, if you are there.”
Another which sparked controversy: “No telephone, period. Put your phone away when you are on duty. Find a place to put it so it doesn’t distract you and leave it there. Set a special ringtone so you know it’s the foster family calling.
The family’s au pair would also be prohibited from “doing personal tasks” while on “duty.”
A separate rule required the au pair to “shower before being around people” after “returning from a trip” in order to “avoid spreading germs” – a directive that, although not not extremely unreasonable at first glance, seems unnecessarily dictatorial when it comes to personal aspects. hygiene of an adult domestic worker.
The overall “rules” category included many examples of reasonable rules, such as “Kids are where you are.”
Among the most obvious “pool rules” was “no drinking water in the pool.”
The “General Au Pair Rules” section sets the employee curfew at midnight, which is “8 hours before your scheduled work time.”
A rule requiring that the au pair is supposed to remain completely phone-free while “on duty” has also raised eyebrows.
Yet another rule forbade the au pair’s guests—whose hypothetical visit would already require prior approval from employers—from eating any household food. “If you have friends over, they are responsible for their own food, unless there are special circumstances,” the rule states.
The “general au pair regulations” also provide for a midnight curfew “if you are staying with us”, adding: “If you spend the night outside and work the next day, the curfew is 8 hours before your time planned work. ‘
The au pair will also be required to “keep personal items out of sight” in the “shared bathroom” that she will be expected to use.
Users flooded the post with more than 2,400 comments offering their opinions on the original poster – OP for short.
“If most of this list is common sense, why does it make me so uncomfortable (running),” one wrote, while someone else answered: “That’s because while most of the list is common sense, the 5-10% that are” It’s really bad and shows no willingness to compromise or be welcoming towards an au pair.
Users flooded the comments section with over 2,400 replies offering feedback
Another commenter chimed in: “‘No desire to accommodate’ Bingo.”
One person offered: “We don’t have an au pair or nanny, but I’d like to think I’d be a dream mom to work for if we did.” That being said, I can’t imagine sending something like that. Like literally anything close to it. I would keep looking.
To this, OP jokingly responded, “Can you be my host mom?” »
Someone else agreed with the list: “Too many rules. I agree about the phone, as our toddler was hurt several times when our last AP was on his phone. That makes sense. Many of the rules make sense. But not letting your friends eat when they’re done? Things like that are just gross.
“Be helpful even if you’re off duty,” pointed out one Reddit user, who added two sweaty face emojis, imagining exasperation at the rule.
The OP’s responses to many of the comments were even more indicative of the less than ideal nature of the potential employment situation.
The position, she explained, would pay a mere $200 weekly stipend.
Referring to the rule that the au pair would not be allowed to take the family car further than Fredericksburg, i.e. within a 25 mile radius, OP mentioned that the house was located in an area rural Virginia.
One commenter said the neighborhood was “boring and car-centric,” adding that “you’ll need good company (not like this family) or a way to escape and find good company (which seems difficult to do with their car rules and curfews).
OP responded to this comment by stating, “Based on all of these details, it seems like the best decision for me would be to not correspond with them. I really appreciate you letting me know, as it helped solidify my final decision to not pursue a match with this family. Thank you so much.’