Dear Amy, It may be my profession that irritates me a little, but I hope you can rephrase or share some thoughts on this irritation.
When the pandemic started, everyone was sent to work from home.
All most people could do was complain about how difficult this was. Being a nurse and manager of a medical unit, she obviously didn’t get to work from home. I also didn’t have “boring” days like so many people have complained about.
Now, three years later, many people have gotten used to working from home and love it.
Now they complain about having to go to an office several times a month.
Speaking for most of us in healthcare (and any service industry), I really want people to be able to appreciate their situation.
Turning every scenario or work situation into a complaint is detestable for those of us who do not have these luxurious options.
– Salty Nurse
Dear Salty, I want to thank you for your service, and also for the invitation to reflect on and potentially reframe a category of human research that we should be grateful to have in existence: Post-pandemic issues.
So let me start by taking the world’s smallest violin out of its case and playing a plaintive tune for anyone with the temerity to complain to a healthcare or service worker about the burden of having to call the office back multiple times. a month.
Now for the rethink: We’re back! Once again, we overlook our obvious lucky breaks (we’re alive, being one), and already we’re beginning to take for granted the simple privilege of visiting, touching, hugging, and kissing.
We have resumed our habit of washing away our little grievances, even if the rest of the world is on fire.
Your burden is also your blessing: while others complain about the long line at Starbucks, you are already wide awake and inhabiting your salty humanity.
You have my permission to remind others to put their problems in perspective.
Dear Amy, I am a newlywed woman in my early 20s looking for a new job.
Recently, during an interview with a local private school, I was asked about my pregnancy plans. The question was whether he had a “plan to balance the kids with work.”
I said coldly, “My husband and I have talked about it and we’re not worried.”
I was offered the job, but I didn’t take it because of that question, as well as the “no pants” policy for women.
When I told the company I was turning down the job, I explained my reasons, as well as including a link to the EEOC on pregnancy discrimination, which included a recommendation NOT to ask that question in interviews. They responded with a general response wishing me the best in the future.
Was there a better way to handle it?
Dear K: “No pants” policy? Wouldn’t that bother the kids?
(I thought only TV presenters could get away with “no pants” at work.)
Jokes aside, your choice to decline this position was obviously a good one. The follow up to him was appropriate.
Here is the information from the EEOC that I assume you linked to: “Federal law does not prohibit employers from asking you if you are pregnant or intend to become pregnant. However, because such questions may indicate a possible intent to discriminate based on pregnancy, we recommend that employers avoid these types of questions.”
In the future, when asked about family planning at a job interview, you might respond, “I’m curious—why are you asking?”
The interviewer is likely to offer an explanation that sounds benign. If after that he is still interested in employment at that particular workplace, he might respond and deflect by saying, “I have an outstanding work ethic.”
Since this query about balancing babies was done in a real school, you may have answered, “Since I will be working with children, all the work is balancing children with work. I hope that.”
Dear Amy, I related to the “Stop chasing my dreams” question. Like this person, I have had recurring dreams. Mine are college related (I left just before receiving my degree).
I agree with you that this is the subconscious trying to close the loop of unfinished business.
– In my dreams
Dear in my dreams: My recurring college dreams involve arriving in the wrong classroom to take my final exam. I’m still trying to figure that out.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at email@example.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @asking either Facebook.)